actually, b_c, i have made a conscious effort to identify my sadness in the last year or so, and to just let it out - healing tears, tears of release, tears that carry away the poison that has been stored within me.
i've had a tendency over the years to cry a lot, at anything emotional, pos. or neg., whether it's happening to me, to/with someone else, movies, etc. it's only been lately that i began to look at each time i've cried and question what it is exactly that i'm crying about. what i've been discovering is that much of it has been loss of something, whether it's been a loving relationship, an acknowledgment of an accomplishment, unconditional acceptance, caring without expectations attached - or general things, like the freedom to be me without someone trying to change me (that started in very early childhood), being able to feel/express/identify emotions - all kinds of things.
there have been so many, the list seems endless. i still have more to identify, i'm sure, but i've made some headway. unfortunately, i believe, like van der kolk says, the body keeps the score, and my eyes have paid the price for holding all that sadness for me. glaucoma, which can never be cured, only treated so as not to go blind, and now i've got a retina detaching and a cataract beginning. so, yes, i definitely believe that not getting our emotions out is far more harmful than acknowledging, accepting, identifying, and appropriately expressing them than holding them in, trying to ignore them, pushing them down, or distracting ourselves from them could ever be.
best to you with this, b_c. we haven't often been taught that showing our emotions is either good or safe. finding a safe place is important, and the goodness of letting them out helps our bodies either heal or help keep them from getting sick or wounded in some way. we're in this together. big hug.
