x

  • 3 Replies
  • 1247 Views
*

bheart

  • Guest
x
« on: December 04, 2014, 01:20:34 PM »
  xx

Last Edit: Wednesday, 10 June 2015, 03:39:59 by x

edited to add: Thread locked due to the original poster having removed the content of the opening post.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2016, 04:46:51 PM by Dutch Uncle »

*

Sandals

  • Member
  • 204
  • Self love | Self acceptance
    • View Profile
Re: survivor mode
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2014, 01:26:28 PM »
:hug: Totally see where you're coming from, that's great insight. Could it also be possible that you and your sister trigger each other? I ask because I have discovered that my sister triggers me. Do you get EFs when you talk to her?

*

Badmemories

  • Member
  • 337
  • Keep On Keeping On
    • View Profile
Re: survivor mode
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2014, 04:42:28 AM »
 :hug: bheart,

I see her actions a lot on the OOTF site. When One person is trying to heal, it puts the whole family on notice and then they are all trying to keep from rocking the boat.. They are still loyal to the family, they are in denial, the are the Golden Child and don't want to have that status changed, etc.

I have wrote several time about My Sis... she likes to wallow in it, have everyone feel sorry for her, she does NOT want to get well....So IMHO your sister is in denial, and etc.

OOTF has really helped me to get better on that! You might want to set boundaries.. Like we are NOT going to discuss My work on healing, we are not going to discuss family, etc. You might have to put her on Medium Chill, or LO chill, or maybe even No Contact ....

Unchosen board..http://outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?board=4.0

Honestly... I would NOT be here if I had not gone to the forum to see how the dynamics of MY family worked...Really an eye opener!  :fallingbricks:

Keep on keeping on! ;) :hug:


*

Badmemories

  • Member
  • 337
  • Keep On Keeping On
    • View Profile
Re: survivor mode
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2014, 05:16:07 PM »
Bheart, Hi all!  :wave:

I am the oldest that's what made My doing the eviction harder. You see In my FOO I was really like the mother and My Mom was like the Father... I actually started crying the Morning of the court date. I really don't know IF I'd ever cried in front of him!  :blink: I cried and told him... I loved her so much, I'd done everything to help her. I even changed her diapers when she was a baby.

bheart wrote:
When she went off on me, I didn't react and just let her rage on.   After the conversation and I left, yes I had a huge EF.  Her need to defend our mother and attack me was eerily familiar.  I cried for two days.   :yes:


It was exactly like me. I held it together and YET I was going into a depression dealing with it. When uNPD/BPDSis  was around and did not want to resolve any of her problems, hearing it over and over again, made me sicker. Working with her and being frustrated was hard because she could not go past the past. In fact, she used it as a manipulation tool to make everyone feel sorry for her. She loved the strokes She got "poor me".  :sadno:  Then on top of it I heard stories that she'd actually lied about how our childhood was! I have been quit honest about HOW My childhood was on this and OOTF. YALL know how bAD IT REALLY WAS... NO NEED TO EXAGGERATE ALL THAT!

I am really so sad that I could not share all that I have been learning here and at OOTF with her. I would want to be able to "help her" I googled head injuries to find out about how to help her and ended up at OOTF, so really my motivation to help her was the reason I got here to begin with. 

I have been formulating a letter to her to put in the letters section and I have NOT got it keyed in Yet!  :sadno: probably a loonnggg letter!
Keep on keeping on! ;) :hug: