My story [Warning: potential triggers, especially EF. VERY LONG POST]

[CherryBlossom]

You are very brave.

[bazou]

You are very brave.

Thank you. I haven't been on this site for a few month. I am just catching up I saw your post. I hope you're well

[DecimalRocket]

That's pretty amazing. I have no other words to say. Wow.

How about you come over at the Recovery Journals section? It doesn't have a page limit like other parts of the forum here and you can share your life over time.

Take care.

[bazou]

That's pretty amazing. I have no other words to say. Wow.

How about you come over at the Recovery Journals section? It doesn't have a page limit like other parts of the forum here and you can share your life over time.

Take care.

Wow, thank you so very much. It means the world to hear that from other survivors.

Something major happened this week. One important thing I left out of the story below - It boggles me that I did, but I did - is that I have a biological half brother that I've never met. My dad met someone before he met my mom and had this child out of wedlock. The mother gave him up, my dad ended up with custody when he was 1 1/2, by then, he had met my mom. He was with my parents till the age of 7. During those years, my sister was born. Then the year I was born, my parents put him up for adoption.

My mom told us the same story our entire life about the circumstances of his adoption. He was a special-needs kid, my dad was an absentee father, and after a while, she just couldn't handle him anymore. But my mom spoke about him with such venom. The first 20 years of my life, his name was mentioned in my house at least weekly, if not more. Things would sometimes lead us to try to reach out to him, with no success. He never showed any interest. I never saw him, spoke to him, met him. Nothing. In 42 years.

This has been a huge source of pain in our life (my sister, my dad and I) and it completely destroyed my father. It destroyed his relationship with us. There's a lot more, but i'm truncating.

Anyway... two days ago, my brother reached out to me, and we've been talking since. I spent 8 hours talking to him yesterday. I found out some really disturbing stuff, and my sister and I were able to piece what seems to be the truth about the circumstances of his adoption. It was straight out of a Stephen King book. I had to run to the washroom to vomit. The past 24 hours have been so intense, I'm having trouble processing stuff. He is the carbon copy of my dad. He and I have the same laugh lines. Stuff about how the whole thing came down this week is also super bizarre in terms of timing. I had a huge blow up with my mom on Monday morning. Which ended with her spewing venom at me, and me simply sitting down and telling myself, "I'm done with her. This is over". That night, I received a message from my brother. One door closes, another opens.

I want to write more, I know this post is all over the place, but I am buzzing right now.

[bazou]

Hi Bazou

Your courage is so inspiring... thankyou for sharing your story. 
Have just had the same lightbulb of finding the cptsd info and forum and though I was aware of the abuse previously, it has now hit home in a new way altogether. And like you, I can feel the resolve for change and determination to move into the next phase of healing, exhausting though it is.  We are soul warriors! 

It is priceless to find the site and people who know. Just priceless.
I hope you are doing well and will check out some of your other posts...

Thank you so much <3 I've just come back after being away from this site for a few months, and remembering what a great place this is. Hope you are well.