Some questions about nightmares

[ElizabethGenevieve]

I've been having awful nightmares almost every night for over a year and a half. Sometimes I wake up shaky and drenched in sweat, and it takes a couple of hours of calming music before I can fall back asleep (or I just get up). Other times they are more dark and horribly sad than frightening. Those last longer and leave me with a lingering sense of darkness and dread throughout the day. And then there is those weird nights that are hard to explain, where I wake up suddenly and am absolutely terrified, but I don't remember having a nightmare. The other night it actually happened as I was falling asleep, it was like my anxiety dialed 0-100 in 10 seconds flat and really freaked me out, but I didn't remember having a bad dream 

So I have a couple of questions about nightmares/bad dreams/night terrors that some of you might be able to help me with:

* Are nightmares considered flashbacks if they don't replay the traumatic event exactly?
* What is the difference between night terrors and nightmares?
* Do the nightmares go away once you leave the toxic home environment?
* Have any of you found anything that helps? Music and stretching does for me sometimes, but not consistently.
* Is it unusual that my bad dreams affect me during the day so much? They are really hard to shake off and I wake up really tired.

[Candid]

I used to have nightmares. I think I was mostly processing stuff. I thought of my brain sorting bits and pieces of my life into relevant drawers of the filing cabinet. Some of this would have qualified as flashbacks. Our minds don't let up while there's still unprocessed or unacknowledged trauma.

There were WARNING! nightmares -- usually I was back in FOO and feeling like I'd let myself down as I tried to ingratiate myself with or placate mother. Those were an unnecessary reminder that I could never go back.

My life was fuller in those days. Now my waking life is the nightmare and I have compensatory dreams: I'm on holiday in some lovely place or I have a good job, and there are always nice people with me.

Our minds are always trying to help us. It might be a good idea to have pen and notebook by your bed and write down some key words, such as "trapped" or "lost", to figure out what your nightmares are trying to tell you.

[ElizabethGenevieve]

I used to have nightmares. I think I was mostly processing stuff. I thought of my brain sorting bits and pieces of my life into relevant drawers of the filing cabinet. Some of this would have qualified as flashbacks. Our minds don't let up while there's still unprocessed or unacknowledged trauma.

There were WARNING! nightmares -- usually I was back in FOO and feeling like I'd let myself down as I tried to ingratiate myself with or placate mother. Those were an unnecessary reminder that I could never go back.

My life was fuller in those days. Now my waking life is the nightmare and I have compensatory dreams: I'm on holiday in some lovely place or I have a good job, and there are always nice people with me.

Our minds are always trying to help us. It might be a good idea to have pen and notebook by your bed and write down some key words, such as "trapped" or "lost", to figure out what your nightmares are trying to tell you.

Interesting, I do have compensatory dreams once in awhile and it's awful to wake up but more of the time I guess my head is just trying to sort trough all the junk. Writing them down sounds like a good idea, I'll try that.

[Candid]

I do have compensatory dreams once in awhile and it's awful to wake up...

Tell me about it! It's quite something to be in a sunny workplace, talking and laughing with co-workers, then to find myself back on a mattress in the attic on a grim, grey morning with an empty day stretching ahead.

When I kept a dream journal I remembered stuff virtually every night, in more and more detail. You're giving your subconscious a message that you're listening and getting serious about it.

[ElizabethGenevieve]

I know  And that makes sense, I'll try that.

[crohnie]

Thank you for your post.  I lived with terrifying nightmares for well over ten years, and am just now starting to understand them.  My understanding is (at least in my case), the terror is an emotional flashback that may or may not have anything to do with what's happening in the dream.  With CPTSD it's the emotion of the trauma that we relive, which may explain why you are not dreaming about specific traumatic events.   

I had a very graphic, disturbing dream just yesterday.  I woke up in hyper-vigilant mode, and stayed that way for most of the day.  It was awful.   I ended up going to bed at 5:00 in order to shut myself down. 

Pete Walker's book has been a godsend for me, and has helped in dialing my nightmares down.  Also, the drug Prazosin has been tremendous (it is a blood pressure drug that was found to help vets with nightmares from PTSD).

Take care and be kind with yourself.  I hope that things improve soon!

[ElizabethGenevieve]

Thank you for your insights and support, crohnie! I really appreciate it. 

[alchemist]

Elizabeth,
My experience with nightmaes was similar to yours.  I would experience night sweats and have terribly violent dreams that became throughout my recovery more clear.  It may seem completely unrelated to your trauma in the beginning because what is happening involves other people and not your abuser but as you progress in recovery you will have dreams of the abuser as you resolve the abuse within yourself from that person and externally with the person.
Night sweats are associated with night terrors.  The definition of night terrors is sketchy in that it covers a broad spectrum of disorders including sleep paralysis but also panic attacks waking up feeling as though you cannot breathe, sweating prodfusely after horribly vivid nightmares and being exhausted the next day.
Of course, you will be exhausted after fighting for survival in a dream all night; that is not a restful sleep.

I can tell you they get better.  Last night I had a dream about my abuser and I was exposing her, outsmarting her, verbally fighting her and winning.  That is awesome! 
Here's a hug and try to rest after these episodes.  If you are working I thinkit is important to tell your boss not necessarily what the trauma involved but tell her you have a sleep disorder because the exhaustion could affect your performance. Sleep is the most essential component in recovery.  To remain clearly focused we must get adequate sleep.  I require 9-10 hours.

[ElizabethGenevieve]

Elizabeth,
My experience with nightmaes was similar to yours.  I would experience night sweats and have terribly violent dreams that became throughout my recovery more clear.  It may seem completely unrelated to your trauma in the beginning because what is happening involves other people and not your abuser but as you progress in recovery you will have dreams of the abuser as you resolve the abuse within yourself from that person and externally with the person.
Night sweats are associated with night terrors.  The definition of night terrors is sketchy in that it covers a broad spectrum of disorders including sleep paralysis but also panic attacks waking up feeling as though you cannot breathe, sweating prodfusely after horribly vivid nightmares and being exhausted the next day.
Of course, you will be exhausted after fighting for survival in a dream all night; that is not a restful sleep.

I can tell you they get better.  Last night I had a dream about my abuser and I was exposing her, outsmarting her, verbally fighting her and winning.  That is awesome! 
Here's a hug and try to rest after these episodes.  If you are working I think it is important to tell your boss not necessarily what the trauma involved but tell her you have a sleep disorder because the exhaustion could affect your performance. Sleep is the most essential component in recovery.  To remain clearly focused we must get adequate sleep.  I require 9-10 hours.

All that makes a lot of sense, thank you. I am working nearly full time, and my mental struggles have been affecting me way more than I thought they would. I don't really want to tell my supervisor about it but you might be right that I should. I like the idea of just saying it's a sleep disorder or something along those lines. That would be a lot easier than trying to explain without freaking her out. Again, thanks for the help and the hope and the hugs, I appreciate it 

[alchemist]

Sure.  Good luck!