That awkward moment when it's proved that they're lying...

[joyful]

So the other day, I was looking for an  important document of mine and stumbled upon F's birth certificate. Do you know what it said? That he's NINE years older than he told us he was???  He always said he was the same age as my mom, but nope, actually almost ten years older. First, that's a really big gap, but second WHY has he lied my entire life about his age?? Is it a narc thing about appearing younger than they are or... I honestly have no idea. I'm not sure when he was planning to tell us, like were we just supposed to find out after he died how old he really was?? That sounds like a huge problem.
Plus, now there's all kinds of confusion about what I the progression of his life events. If he actually did meet my mom in college (which he claims to, but who knows i guess) that would mean he was in college for like 12 or 13 years. He didn't go to grad school. Nothing is lining up as far as that goes.

I'm kinda just reeling from this. Why would he lie? What is he hiding? or is he hiding nothing and just doesn't want to admit his age? What else is false?? 

[Three Roses]

How very strange! Why would your own father lie about his age? I'm stumped. 

[joyful]

I'm stumped. 

Yeah me too...

[Wife#2]

I'm just guessing here, but they lie because the truth just seems so dull - or reveals flaws about themselves.

A 9-10 year gap means he could have been a professor or student teacher while she was an undergrad - a NO-NO on most campuses. BUT, if it looks like he was a classmate... well, that's ok.

My mother lied about when she and Dad married even after they divorced. But, one thing never made sense. I did the math. If they married when she said they did, then she married as a senior in high school. Yet, her year book mentions only her maiden name. AND all the notes from friends made NO mention of 'MRS so-and-so' or the baby on the way. AND, she was attending a catholic girls high school - I don't see her getting married being allowed back that many decades ago. So, I asked. Did you get married in February or after June? Only after Dad told my sister and it was proven in the county records did Mom finally come clean. She'd been 5 months pregnant when they married in July.

The funniest part about that particular lie was that it resurfaced when the grandkids were old enough to ask about her marriage to my Dad. Gotta keep up appearances!

[joyful]

Hmmm... Sorry I'm just trying to figure this out ...
What you said about revealing flaws about themselves kinda hit home... I've heard him deprecate other people's marriages with less of a gap!
Sorry lol I promise i'm not obsessed with this, just super confused and have no one where else to get it out

[Wife#2]

If you think about it - it's sadly pathetic and kind of funny.

Really? Dad? Did you think the age difference was THAT bad? When proven otherwise, why do you still deny?   

It's like the cliché of older women frequently shaving 5-10 years off their age over time. Makes for lots of fun when doing genealogy, let me tell you! I have caught at least one ancestor being that vain. But, only by 3 years. Roll with it, let him have that lie if it makes him happy. But, if it's ever safe to tease, say, Dad, I know we're celebrating your XXth birthday this year, but I'm putting the truth on your gravestone. Last laugh. Muahhh haa haa haa!

[Hazy111]

I think lots of families have skeletons, that we just never get to hear about big or small. I find your fathers one, funny and  narcissistic which kind of confirms your pain. I like that comment by Wife#2 about the gravestone,, thats gonna kill a Narc!!

My friend just got back from the US and meeting some cousins he had never met , discovered his father had been disowned by his family for leaving the priesthood in Ireland and so he moved to England and started a family. He never knew any of it. 

I discovered i had a half brother about 5 year back. My Dad yeah maybe , but no my Mum!!!! UBPd  victim hermit Catholic church going mom. Never never. What a shock. Gave him up for adoption before meeting my Dad.. explains a helluva lot