The little things

[Healing Finally]

Hi all  - thought to share something that helps me to relax when I'm feeling stressed or triggered at work.

I recently brought a wooden bowl to work that holds some small pretty rocks that I picked up at the beach.  When I feel stressed I put my fingers in the bowl and mix the rocks around which seems to really ground me.  I love the feeling of the smooth rocks and the sound of them falling through my fingers.

The really strange part is up until recently, I couldn't do this.  I couldn't allow myself to put my hand in the bowl, as I knew it would help me to feel better.  I avoided it!  I have gone for years avoiding things that provide me comfort and peace.  I remember someone gave me a beautiful book called "I See Peace" and I couldn't even pick it up to read it, it was a coloring book!  I don't know why this happens.

But, I do know, when I allow myself to do this, to take care of myself, to not stress or be in anguish; I feel better.  It's tough letting go of the constant hurt as I've been living with it for so long, but I'm trying to rewire my brain by doing the little things to help me feel better.

HUGS to all!

[woodsgnome]

That's fantastic, Healing Finally. Sometimes it's the seemingly small things that we resist; and which turn out to be so soothing we wonder why we held off so long. Then it doesn't matter--we just know it feels so good. 

As you noted, "I have gone for years avoiding things that provide me comfort and peace." Same here--it's like feeling good, especially about yourself, is a no-no. It literally was put that way to me--the 'you don't deserve good' message over and over. Then I begin something small, like using a special stuffed puppet I was given recently, and my inner critic derides my silliness at having to cling to toys for relief, at my age. I think the only silly part is how long it takes to turn self-defeatism into self-comfort.

Thanks again for sharing this essential lesson, that we can feel better; we do deserve that, no matter how long or how resistant we are at first. It's like opening up that scary door, and finding it leads to a good space, not the fearful one we suspected. 



 

[joyful]

I couldn't allow myself to put my hand in the bowl, as I knew it would help me to feel better.  I avoided it!  I have gone for years avoiding things that provide me comfort and peace.

I do the same thing! I know something will help me and I deliberately avoid it! Trying to stop doing it and not perpetuate my own victim mentality...