Effect of anti-depressants on memory processing

[YogaAbba]

Hi,

I'm new to the forum. But not to CPTSD 

I am considering trying an antidepressant. I am aware of the side effect risks and have looked through previous posts here and elsewhere, so I know the pros and cons and differences in philosophy in this regard. Since I already have enough anxiety about this thing, I would like to ask for input from folks who have found antidepressants to be beneficial. (I realize that they are sometimes not that way for some people.)

I have be been (and continue to be) in one kind of therapy or another for the past 25 years or so and have been through various periods of being stable and not-so-stable as far as CPTSD symptoms. As a result of some significant triggers in the past few years (surgery, looking after an aging alcoholic parent, etc.) I am going through a not-so-stable period. It's like, you've been through all the flashbacks, told your whole story to several therapists, and you think you're sort of "done" with it, and then you're back in it big time.

But I digress.

Some of my symptoms have gotten so different recently that I went to see a psychiatrist because I was concerned that there might be something physical wrong or that maybe I am turning out to have bi-polar. Some of that has calmed down, but I have the ball rolling with the psychiatrist, and I think she's likely to suggest that I take an anti-depressant. Honestly, while I'm coping reasonably well, I would not mind some relief from the exhaustion and social isolation (I have a complete and total aversion to intimacy of almost any kind which is not so great when you're married). So if it might help with that, that would be good.

I got the impression that anti-depressants might decrease intrusive memories and maybe flashbacks as well. Maybe this is similar to how they reduce OCD symptoms because there can be an obsessive quality to the intrusive thoughts. Or maybe it's because they calm down the central nervous symptoms, and being worked up in general can in and of itself be a trigger.

Anyway, for those of you for whom antidepressants are working, and supporting your therapeutic process, I am curious about whether these sorts of medications affect how you process your memories? Do they make the memories more or less accessible? Easier to process? Etc.

Thanks for your input.
--YA

[Three Roses]

Hi, welcome! 

I've been on a popular antidepressant off & on for almost 30 years. I have tried a few times to stop taking it but have resumed it each time, and am currently on it.

I don't feel "medicated" - the effect for me is more like taking vitamins or something. I feel more like myself. When off of it, I am pretty miserable and so depressed it's hard to do anything to take care of myself or do my share around the house.

I also feel better when I'm involved in therapy. Just taking an antidepressant alone makes me feel better but not great.

I feel like I'm giving my body and brain something that it should have, but is lacking for whatever reason. Hope this helps! 

[YogaAbba]

I also feel better when I'm involved in therapy. Just taking an antidepressant alone makes me feel better but not great.

Ya I think most psychiatrists say that the antidepressant works together with and is not a replacement for therapy. I believe that.

Do you notice anything different about how you process memories when you are on the medication? I mean, if the medication reduces the intrusiveness and flashbackiness (sp.?) of memories, that's a good thing. But does it then make it so you don't deal with the memories as much?

Thanks.
--YA

[Three Roses]

I'll think about this some more, but I'd have to say that I feel like I have more strength to deal with whatever comes up. Without meds, I just give up and give in to whatever comes up from my subconscious. With them, I remember what to do to alleviate EF's and to look at a bigger picture than what my inner critic wants to present.

[Blueberry]

I have been known to forget to take my anti-deps, not to mention my thyroid hormones (for under active), and then continue to not take them. The longest time I did that for was 6 weeks. At the end of this time I realised that I don't take anti-deps, I take pro-joys, pro-clarity, pro-motivation! i.e. without my medication I become unable to feel joy, clarity of mind, and motivation to keep going. None of that is conducive to healing from CPTSD, especially not in my case. Just realised a connection - to work with my damaged Inner Children, I had to contact and work with the ones capable of feeling and acting on joy, fun etc first. So it makes sense that my taking pro-joys/ pro motivation is necessary for my ability to process memories or do other aspects of healing work. In case you're interested, I'm on 20mg of Citalopram plus a low dosage of thyroid supplement.

Thanks for the query. It's got me thinking. I've been taking a lower dose for a few months now. Since I am having trouble with motivation and mental clarity, maybe I should discuss raising again with my doc.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi yogaabba thank u for your post as I just came on here to give a positive to taking anti depressant... they are my life line
I am on citalopram 20mg ( called
Something different in the US) .

Quote 'do you notice anything different about how you process memories when you are on the medication'

For me it dulls it all down so I don't get the 'loop' of repetitive thoughts and it dulls feeling of overwhelm .
I still get emotional flashbacks but I am able to deal with them better and they don't floor me where I can't cope..
my inner critic dies down and I regain some worth, confidence and esteem.

I've needed to take medication more as I've got older and put addictions down..
Over the past yr I've come off it once  and the second time I replaced it with another anti dep. On both occasions I've gone back onto it as I've gotten so unwell-
I'm aware that tablets are not the whole answer and just dull what goes on for me psychologically in regard to cptsd.
I am awaiting trauma therapy and now have a diagnosis of cptsd from a psychiatrist.
Citalopram is sedative for me ( although not everyone's experience ) and I def feel the sedation. I have other side effects : some visual disturbance, slower reaction time, not so sharp in my cognitions, sexual labido almost nil ( this is common) and vivid dreams at night . Some people don't get any side effects, I am very sensitive to anything I put in my body..

I understand you would like to hear the therapeutic benefit of taking an anti depressant as you have heard a lot about side effects

Bottom line is they make me feel more 'normal' and able to function - but they come with a price..

When you ask about memories do you mean when you get triggered into a flashback or do you mean your mind keeps thinking about things that happened in your past or both ?

Anti depressants do show  a real effectiveness of dampening symptoms of cptsd I've read this in literature

If you can live without taking meds I would say do that... if like me you get to a point when it is just unbearable then medication has its place..
The thing I think about is 'but will I be able to process the trauma in therapy on meds ? I just don't know the answer to that but I have spoken to a man who needed to reduce and come off to get any further in his therapy and to emotionally grow..

( meds do dull my feelings

[Blueberry]

Yogaabba,
Boatssetsailrose and I take the same medication (Citalopram 20mg) and it has different effects on us! It seems to work for both of us, but differently.