I deserve my pay - Part 1

[Blueberry]

Thanks notalone and Kizzie.
When I am blindsided the way I was on Saturday, I mostly can't defend myself. It was pretty good that I managed to say that my prices aren't too high.

Kizzie, normally I would say: then go elsewhere! In this case it's worse for me because it's people I know - from the farm to be exact. There's a young man staying with them this year who should be in an adult education class learning the local language but he can't because of corona. Because going to the farm is too risky for me atm I offered to teach him for my usual rate of food off the market stall and the older farmer actually rejected that, saying I should be paid. After meditating on it for a few days, I decided he's right. And now undoubtedly after discussing with others on the farm, he's decided my price is way too high. It's not in general though it's undoubtedly too high for them. But he'd agreed to it Beyond that, this is a case where I intend to discuss it with them. I appreciate the quality of their work and I know how much goes into it. I would like the quality of my work to not be taken for granted. I have explained it to people before, I will try again here. Before I do any of that though I need to do some EFT and maybe some other processing.

[Kizzie]

I know how jarring these kinds of things can be so      Glad you're doing some things to calm things as much as you can before talking with him.   

[Blueberry]

I'm back to reading my own posts on this and of course posts from others on this thread cheering me on.

Client turned down yesterday because feeling really upset and probably not able to focus. I was willing to move to this evening and so far no show (on Skype). I have to discuss some payment matters with her anyway and now be firmer on her need to be respectful of my time!

[Blueberry]

From a post on my own Journal yesterday
"I noticed a few days ago that I've been undercharging my adult students who do 60 minute lessons, by €1 and a few cents. Maybe I originally decided on that as a discount for somebody doing 60 minutes instead of 45? Anyway, no discounts for that any more   I need my money and I put a lot of work and preparation time into my lessons, so I'm raising those prices by €1! It's taken me a few days to really decide that, really it's a case of daring to do it, even though both adults with 60 minute lessons have said my prices are very reasonable. I have a nervous feeling in my gut, which I don't want to work on though it would be useful. Oh well, T appointment tomorrow." 

So I mentioned this and my T suggested a €5 increase instead of just €1. I decided on a €2 increase on my 45 minute price for adults which means my 60 min price increases by €4. We spent about a third of the session on this topic and I did manage some processing of it. Now to practise saying "I'm raising my prices." But my T said also to observe. Fear back in my gut.

Part of raising my prices is getting better at accepting that humans aren't perfect, so I also do not have to be 'perfect' and teach 'perfect' lessons, write 'perfect' homework every time etc. Humans are by nature imperfect - my T repeats this fairly often.

[Three Roses]

... I also do not have to be 'perfect' and teach 'perfect' lessons, write 'perfect' homework every time etc. Humans are by nature imperfect....

Love this ❤️

[Phoebes]

Blueberry, I relate to what you are saying and this topic. I didn't read the entire thread, but I believe without a doubt you deserve to increase your pay. It's the nature of how things work, and I am willing to bet your clients will happily pay a little more for you and believe in your decision. I think about all the individuals who raise their pay over time, and I am good with that. Cost of living. But, I really feel you when you say that feeling in your gut. I tend to undercharge and undersell myself as well. It DOES stem from that feeling that I'm not perfect so why charge more. Interesting...I don't know if you watch the show Queer Eye, but Johnathan mentioned this when giving advice to a business owner as well. It sounds great when he says it- know your worth and charge accordingly. Easier said than done for us, but I guess I'm making progress, however slowly.

[Kizzie]

Humans are by nature imperfect - my T repeats this fairly often.

Hard for us to accept this given it made us vulnerable to abuse, but definitely something we need to embrace in recovery (and also begin to bring people who accept this too into our lives, that's another difficult bit).

  Good on you for wading in BB 

[Blueberry]

I have been talking to my adult students about my increase in prices. The more I do it, the easier it gets. Three have agreed to it without batting an eyelid, but one other student I still need to pin down about it. One of the three agree-ers has just backed out altogether but price isn't the problem. She realised she just doesn't have enough time regularly for lessons. I actually think it's better she backed out and will come back 'when she has time' which may be never, ime. But that's way better for me than her leaping all over the place cancelling lessons right left and centre and needing new appointments which she then also cancels due to something coming up at work etc.

[Three Roses]

It's really great to hear that this is getting easier for you! Bravo, well done you 

[Blueberry]

Thank you 3R! 

[Tee]

  good job setting boundaries blueberry I'm glad it's getting easier and you feel good about the out comes.

[sigiriuk]

So pleased to hear this.
This site works wonders for us

[Blueberry]

This site does work wonders. No idea what I'd do without it.

[Phoebes]

That's so great to hear, Blueberry. You're doing great

[Blueberry]

I deserve my pay for today too. Even though I didn't do a perfect job. Both parties to the contract were well-satisfied and the one representing his company asked if I'd be up for doing similar another time. Obviously he wouldn't have asked that if he hadn't been satisfied.

It's pretty difficult to do a 'perfect job' in this field. The appointment ran on longer than planned too. Almost 3 hours. I have trouble concentrating that long at the best of times.
They guy representing his company knows that the work is really hard for somebody doing it the first time, which was cool. He didn't expect perfection from me and he didn't expect me to do all the interpreting. He did some of the explanations into the other party's language. So I thought I was performing really badly, making a pig's ear of it all. Apparently not.

I get travelling time paid too. I was away from 8:30 till after 2pm. A long day, especially in this heat. I'm exhausted. My brain is all foggy. But I still deserve my pay because I did a good job!