[Blueberry]

  for being able to suppress those voices more than half the time, truus 

[Blueberry]

Yes, I do deserve my pay!! This time I managed to believe that while writing an offer for a potential client. On thinking it over, I decided to put my price for one service up. First I was thinking: I've done a similar one before so I can copy some information over and charge a bit less and then I realised  and NO!! By charging this client same price I charged last time for similar work, I can now actually make more money, more profit! Because the very first time I do one type of work, my profit is usually miserable. Some of the reason for that is cptsd. It's not until I get a similar piece of work a few more times that I can even begin to make anything to live off.
 
Believing in myself while writing = real progress!!!
       
The client has just accepted my offer

P.S. In case anybody wonders: it's absolutely normal for a freelancer in my field to juggle around with prices. Almost all projects are pretty individual, and piece work rather than time-based. So it's neither normal nor even possible to say: I always charge everybody the same and then it's easy. 

[notalone]

 

[Blueberry]

Kind of another breakthrough this evening with this topic. I've been writing invoices, one of which is overdue by ahem a couple of months. So this overdue one is for work already completed. When I completed the work, I was on the late side, possibly because of illness, and told the client I'd been thinking only of getting it done in time, not even of a price. So now I've been able to work out an exact price rather than guesstimate, it looks a bit on the high side.

The interesting thing: I noticed how much those ICr. voices of "you can't charge that much!", "you should have been able to work more efficiently", "it's your fault that... "  - all these internal reasons why I supposedly don't deserve my pay - I noticed how much they are FOO voices. Atm M and B1 are very present in my head. I've known of the connection for a good while I guess, but this time I felt it. So I feel ever more how absolutely toxic they and their ideas and opinions are, especially of me, and so I notice how right I am to be continually reducing contact. There's just no other way for me to survive. Screen Processing to lesson presence of M and B1 before I go to bed? Not that I don't have 600 other things to do especially important care of Little Furries.

[Blueberry]

Not only do I deserve my pay but I deserve adequate pay!! That means including the time writing invoices for clients!! That was very clear to me this morning that those "few minutes" to write the invoice, add new address, change the wording a bit to reflect this particular client's requirements, save and print out are my time and even mental effort. Not something I do in my spare time for fun. So after I'd done that with the client still waiting around, the €15 minimum charge I have and stipulated seemed rather small.

Similar going on today except it's about one-on-one teaching instead of translating.

Back to this issue, even though I had made some improvements on this. Two steps forward, one step back.

This is once again a case where the client appreciates the work I do of tutoring her daughter, and is happy to pay the normal amount. Still, in my head "You can't charge that much!!" Well, in addition to weekly lessons, there's going to be one week where I'm tutoring her everyday for several hours. Obviously that adds up! I could offer a slight discount e.g. 10% but certainly not round down to the nearest hundred the way some spontaneous voice in me suggested.

It's probably not really surprising that I'm having trouble with this issue again. There is really a lot going on in me atm, including bad dreams with FOO in them.

It's been good to read my thread again. So now back to the email on this.

[Kizzie]

                                                                  

Just wanted to let you know I am rooting for the new healthier part of you to shut down that tired old Inner Critic blabbing away at you 

 

[Blueberry]

Thanks Kizzie   ICr is definitely getting quieter despite raising his/her ugly head from time to time. After posting here, I sent off the contract and didn't feel a need to turn off the computer and leave the room as in previous months/years.   

[Kizzie]

Well done you 

[Blueberry]

Back to this issue again.

A student is now coming 60 mins a week instead of 45. Obviously that makes a difference to costs and the employer is happy to pay. Whereas my ICr. "you can't charge that much!" as usual.

My immediate reaction - go check my thread on OOTS to bolster me a bit. 

[Three Roses]

That's quite an extra chunk of time! You're worth it. 😊😊

[Snowdrop]

The 15 minutes extra means that it's taking an extra third of your time. You deserve to be paid for the extra time and effort.

[Blueberry]

Thank you both 3R and Snowdrop! I'm still not taking the information on board really. However, it's too late to send it now anyway. It won't be read before Monday so I can hope to gather up more courage over the weekend. I feel really dopey atm and so will go off and  quite shortly.