Not so fun times/rant

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mvp_c

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Not so fun times/rant
« on: April 22, 2017, 07:36:21 PM »
Hi so basically I have bad associations with the elementary school I went to. I don't know why, honestly I can't pinpoint why, but remember images and stuff like that, or just get feelings if I'm in a room that reminds me of there. Anyways so I have a job working at a grocery store. Unfortunately a lot of people I went to school with work there, these guys who I associate with this one mean group. I've learned to deal with it by not speaking to them unless I have to and pretty much ignoring them, and they don't work in my department so I don't have to talk to them often. A few issues have come up though -- last thursday, when these guys were working, another girl and a guy who are really bad and I don't have good associations with came in, right where my department is, at the most stressful part of my shift, and just stood there talking. They also brought a few other people from my elementary school. Also, the really bad guy who walked in is a huge trigger for me -- I've seen him a couple of times on the street and literally sprinted away/to my house (or safe space). Basically I had a panic attack, and sprinted home (took off my shoes because I couldn't run properly in them) and couldn't think for a good hour.

Now I've just discovered that my manager may be hiring someone I went to school with (who's good friends with the really bad guy) into my department, and that I'd have to train him. You know what that would mean? That would mean that I'd probably have to see the really bad guy often. I also get so angry at these people I used to go to school with, and I know to them it seems like I'm getting angry for no reason. I can't just be angry all the time at this guy who I'm supposed to be training, and I don't think I'd be able to stand having a panic attack every time I work with him. I can't get away with ignoring him either, and I'm afraid that if I'm just nice and cordial to him, it'll make me feel like I can't justify my anger, panic and bad associations with these people.

Help?

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IntheDark

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Re: Not so fun times/rant
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2017, 07:28:58 PM »
Hi there. This can definitely be a tricky situation. Do you think it would be possible to approach your hiring manager and tell them how uncomfortable this would make you?? If you do...and it doesn't help-you owe it to yourself not to force yourself to just 'deal with it'. I've learned a few things..one is to try & be kind to yourself. Obviously the others have not been kind to you in one way or another- so you need someone in your corner! Sometimes the only person that can be is you! If it were me (I don't know your situation) I would first try & talk to my manager. If that didn't work...i would go find a different job somewhere with a manager that cares about the well-being of their employees...be it physical or mental..it only makes sense to want to create a safe feeling work atmosphere-This invokes team work, trust, and be productivity. 
But I'd say sometimes you just have to cut your losses & walk away. You ARE in control of what happens to you & when for the most part. You aren't helpless anymore!
Good luck! I hope you get it worked out!