C-PTSD London help and more

[JamesG]

Bottom line with these situations is that if it isn't something YOU can solve or change, then it is pointless enduring it. You are not a bad person if you are driven to leave, the driver is. It's a very sad truth, bjut some things can't be fixed, and when that thing is a relationship, then it should not be endured. Looking back I can see that there was never a chance to have stopped any of it. They had no intention of changing, they had to stick to their own destructive agenda until someone got hurt, which was so going to be me. Left to their own devices they are living it out as if it's normal, let em. I am going to fill my life with better people now. It's time. I hope you break through soon. The good people on here will be ready to back you up, we all know this stuff better than the people around us. We learn, teach share and inspire. I'm yet to hear anything from anyone on here that sounds off, speaks volumes that we are all good people trapped in bad situations by less than savoury personalities. Making the change is going to be big, meeting new people who have warmth and humanity will be huge. Not all people are as dark as it may feel right now, there are some beautiful souls out here, and an awful lot in here.

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you James, you have offered me some good advice and words of wisdom! Hope you're ok? I had my first session of EMDR today, it went really well came out feeling good, not something I feel very often. At last I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[JamesG]

wonderful Eyessoblue. That sounds like progress. Let's beat this thing eh?

I'm fluctuating a fair bit. My counselling and maybe EMDR is a month of most likely but I'm now on meds, free to be my own person and when it gets really bad I contact the samaritans. Worth pointing out that they are there for more than suicide. Lean on them if there is nothing else. I find that they help most because every so often I need to hear from someone new that I went through something extreme. Telling my story to a stranger and hearing the reaction is a comfort, reassuing to hear that it is no suprise that I feel so bad now. I think many of us have had gaslighting thrown at us when we were asking for peace, its legacy being that we are never really quite sure of our own narratives going forward. I had four very messed up people hitting me with that for 6 solid years and I still find myself wondering if they were right, when I just KNOW they wern't. Any message said often enough will get under your skin eventually. Look at the power of advertising. Narcissists are very good at this, but they are weak pathetic people who are actually staking everything on your strength to save them from the world and all its responsibilities. It's a very strange compliment in a way, the parasite needs a strong host.

[Eyessoblue]

I have never contacted the samaritans but can imagine off loading to a neutral person when you most need it is very therapeutic for you.  Anytime you want to chat just message me, more then happy to help, this site is just so perfect for people like us in similar situations who understands what is going on and why we are feeling like we are. We will get through this no matter how long it takes!!