Internal Family System (therapeutic approach)

[Blackbird]

Hey guys 

So, I've said on this forum, two weeks ago maybe, that I've started a new kind of therapeutic approach with my T.
The name is Internal Family Systems, here's more info about it: https://www.selfleadership.org/outline-of-the-Internal-family-systems-model.html

It's basically this: we have several parts of us, multiplicities of us inside of ourselves, that develop throughout our lives, some are children some are adults, some are exiles and we can have difficulty accessing them, some are protectors of those exiles, some are firefighters (usually the ones that go to self-harm, drugs, alcohol, etc) that deal with a quick escape to protect the exiles. All of the parts are important, even the bad ones, and should be dealt with care and compassion. Then there's the Self, that's in the center of all this. In trauma and, in my case, psychosis, the self kind of desintegrates between multiple parts, the goal of this therapy is to let the self - compassion, curiosity, kindness - take the lead and not some other part. 

Between the last three appointments with my T, I've accessed a bunch of these parts of me, especially my 12 year old self. I had time where I couldn't connect with her, then all of a sudden she took over at one point and overwhelmed with fear of being exposed. We took a deep breath, regrounded (I wanted to lay on the floor, but I just put my back against the chair) and I had a deja vu and dissociation for a brief moment. My T reassured me that this was natural, and we proceeded with the appointment, trying to figure out what my 12 year old self had to say about what happened to her. She did talk, some other parts (protectors) appeared to examine the situation, intelectualize, etc.

Then, we talked about how to proceed from here. I'm still not able to reach my 5 year old part, and I don't intend to right now. I'm focusing on treating my 12 year old part with self-compassion and trust, so she can unburden herself from the fears of inadequacy and the saviour complex that she carries.

It's truly enlightening and I thought you would appreciate if I let some suggestions here:
Two books:
'Self Therapy' by Jay Early and 'Freedom from your inner critic' by the same author.

Hope this helps someone, I'm sorry I'm not so active here I don't have the time. Wishing you all the best 

[sanmagic7]

thanks, blackbird.  very interesting.  so glad it's working well for you. 

interesting to know about those parts of us, how they intermingle, take over out of necessity for survival, and are able to be re-integrated with the right kind of nurturing  and compassionate self-talk.  we can all use more of that in our lives, i think.  i've become a big cheerleader for talking to our brains and minds in order to change the messages that had been implanted at such an early age. 

sounds like you're doing well with this.  ever onward, blackbird!   

[Blackbird]

Thanks San, I'm looking forward to more appointments and to be free from my burdens. We've made a lot of work in just a few sessions. I'm very happy.

The books I posted can be practiced by anyone, but the cherry on top would be having a therapist especialized in this kind of approach.