I hate my mom

[Dee]

I've decided I really do hate my mom and I am good with that.

She is responsible for much of my abuse.  Not only did she fail to protect me but she put me into situations that were dangerous.  When I look back at trauma and think how did so much happen?  I know much of it, until the time I left, is because of her.  I would never have put my daughter in those dangerous situations.

Venting, feels good.  Maybe I can go back to sleep now.  I think I had a dream that I don't remember.

[Contessa]

Do

[Blueberry]

  Yes, turn the hate outward. 

I seem not to feel anything toward my M and F right now... Hate wouldn't be a bad emotion.

[sanmagic7]

outward is good.  hate is not bad.  feelings of any kind are not wrong.  you're doing great, dee.

[Candid]

I feel angry. Outraged. Nowhere for that to go apart from taking it out on myself. Hating her would be a step up, but that isn't how I feel.

[Blueberry]

Hate wouldn't be a bad emotion.

Usual understatement. Just realised this could be pretty misunderstood. I meant that it wouldn't be a bad thing if I started to feel some hate. Not that any emotions are  good or bad per se.

[Wife#2]

Now that you realize you hate her, maybe you can finally unload the shame and guilt that was never yours to begin with onto the 'right' person.

I hope you were finally able to get some sleep. 

[Eyessoblue]

I feel exactly the same and know where you are coming from. Now relying on good friends who I can trust to support me through the rough times ahead.

[Hazy111]

Snap!