A proper introduction

[sigiriuk]

***Some of you might find this post brings up stuff, so be gentle with yourselves***

Dear Group
I know that i just started posting, and none of you know anything about me; and apologise for that. I would like to introduce myself properly.

I realised that all of us here, are wary of new people, so I thought it would be sensible to tell you who I am.

I suffered from early childhood trauma - preverbal, which continued well into my 20s. However, I had less contact with my adopted "parents" after 18, and so there was less emotional abuse.

I suffered ongoing sexual abuse until age 10-11 from a paedophile ring - the neighbour and his associates. This was enabled by my adopted mother. She threatened me to keep secrets, and dressed my injuries.

My adopted father has always been emotionally abusive and violent as far back as I can remember.

I was adopted at 6 months. Have no knowledge of my birth parents, and conclude that I was adopted in 1963 to be used by paedophiles in the UK.

I have been diagnosed with cPTSD, and my main tactic is dissociation. I have a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and take Fluoxetine 60mg every day. I read a lot about the conditions and find peace in that.

It is a very unhappy set of events, and i love myself dearly for enduring that *. I am so proud of myself for coping with the confusion in my head.

I have opened my heart to you, and trust that you understand how vulnerable it makes me feel.

Love
S

[woodsgnome]

You wrote, "I love myself dearly for enduring that *. I am so proud..."

People come and go; things come and go; love endures. I think sometimes we diminish self-love, think of it as selfish, and often fall for the mistaken impression that we truly don't deserve love. Or that love is only that we receive from others. Of course--when there's an absence of love expressed or shared with one from early beginnings, it is truly a * of awful proportions and there seems no escape. Giving up results unless we find that inner reservoir of love which was only lost in our confusion.

Keep loving yourself, dearly and deeply; proud too. Your courage in being vulnerable enough to let your grief out of its cage might turn out to be your most powerful medicine, especially when it's shared in a safe place, like on this forum.  Thank you for being here; your words support so many others when we lose our way and forget the love we carry in spite of our rough ride so far.

[Three Roses]

Thank you for showing vulnerability. I cherish those moments from you and each person here; it's like finding a tiny baby bird and nestling it in the warmth of your hand, feeling its innocence and simplicity soaking into you.

Each time we are vulnerable with each other, we provide an opportunity for valuation and education, not only to ourselves but to all who may read our post. Thanks for being here, S, you are an important contributor.

[sigiriuk]

Thx Guys X