Dissociation as a good thing

[Blackbird]

I dissociate a lot! Like, really unforseeable things trigger me. A word, maybe the way it's pronounced, a bird looking at me, a car in a certain color, smells, etc etc etc, even putting my leg in a certain position.

So, my T and I have begun looking at dissociation as a good thing, it's a coping mechanism not to deal with the horrifying emotions that come with those triggers. I still feel the emotions later on, usually when I'm alone in the house, triggered by some music or something (I do have a bit of a tendency to listen to the Blues or something else that is sad).

I've began a process of identifying colors and shapes and trying to love reality when I'm dissociating, reminding myself I'm still a part of my body, if not the whole body itself functioning for the sole purpose of me being alive.

Then the hard part hits home, because, like so many of you can relate, we often don't feel very lucky for being alive. That's why we've started this, being a part of reality is a miracle and a joy, and dissociation happens a lot less frequently now and with a lot less severity than before I started to embrace it.

We often say in therapy, thanks for dissociation!
Just something I wanted to share.

[woodsgnome]

That's so true for me as well, Blackbird.

I've always been prone in what's called dissociation.  While I know it still plays a large role in my current behaviour/outlook, I've come to recognize and accept its presence more, which seems to paradoxically reduce the shame and guilt I had for feeling 'out of it' so often.

Also, like you, that was pointed out by my T, who one day stopped me cold when I started apologizing for slipping into dissociation again. She pointed out how normal it is, a natural reaction to an original trauma, and how by the same token it needn't control my life as a major concern, and that I don't need to regard it as a failure on my part to deal with my stuff. And that yes, I can work with it but not fall prey to it as a 'bad' thing.

I wonder if the 'dis' tag  plays a role here. Right away it indicates something is off. And we worry about it in the negative sense, when indeed it is at least a neutral and natural reactive response to trauma(s), not a wholly negative one.

So I've learned to feel better about dissociation with a bit more self-compassion.

[Blackbird]

Oh cool, that's interesting about the "dis" tag, you might be right. We do want to be associated 

Glad to know I'm not alone in this.

[Hazy111]

  Thankyou for dissociating my inner child.

I think anyone who has suffered trauma dissociates . I didnt understand i did it , until my T explained what it was.

In my early days with him , i did it a lot and i did the same , start apologising for switching off. 

I was told many years ago by another T " i live in my head"and i didnt understand and my current one said the same. Its just dissociation to stop the painful feeling.

A good way of thinking about it, is remembering the little inner child in you, did it to protect themselves from the pain and you should thank them for it . It was just one of the defences it had to initiate so you are alive today,

No one else was protecting the vulnerable little you, so you had to do it all by yourself with the only means you had necessary. Well done little you, i wont ever forget what you did.