let the healing begin

[sanmagic7]

just got word - i'm in.  will be moving this week, should be all done and in my own spot by mon.  sobbed in gratitude and relief.  god does indeed work in mysterious ways.  i told the homeowner that i'd been in mex. for the past 15 yrs. and have no credit because of that.  she told me at the time she wasn't worried about that.  the background check came back today, sure enough - zeros across the board and a recommendation not to take me on as a boarder.  she's charging me a one-time, refundable $200 fee because of it, but she's taking me in anyway. 

i know that so much of this is due to all the positive energy you all have sent my way, all the warm wishes and wanting this to happen for me.  my heartfelt gratitude and thanks to all of you who have been pulling for me.  i can't tell you what this means, except that miracles do happen, so never give up your faith in the power of the universe.  bless you all. 

it may be a little bit after i move to get my computer up and running - gotta get some connectors for the wi-fi or something, but i'll be in touch when i can.  i can feel the tension running out through my pores as i write.  love and hugs to each and every one of you.  you're GREAT!!!

[Contessa]

 
 
This is great news San!!
One mountain climbed xo

[Three Roses]

Yay!! 

[Dee]

It is so nice to hear good news, caring people, and hope!!!

Yay!!

[Wife#2]

::: Building a fortress of love and encouragement around this room :::

San, I am so glad that this is exactly what you need. It's wonderful that such a beautiful, helpful, kind person gets something right in your life at last!

The peace room, or the portal to the beginning of peace. I'm so glad you are there! 

[sanmagic7]

thank you all.  you've all been such a big part of this.

now i'm waiting for the move to actually happen, and last night i was able to recognize that i'm nervous as all get out.  today is exceptionally emotional, i'm crying all over the place, can barely get a sentence out without tears.  so, anxious, unsteady, afraid.  i've been holding it all together as best i could to get to this point.  still have a few days to go.  first part of the move will take place sat. to get all the stuff i can't fit into my d's place.  second part on sun. and grocery shopping to stock up, get my stuff in that room that seems like a room for a fairy princess, like the bed is filled with feathers, princess and the pea, and everything so dang pretty!  not used to it at all!!!

then i'll bring some of my own things that do not go at all with a b n b environment, and we'll see how that works.  no cute little knick-knacks.  rather, a string of black glass letters that spell M-A-G-I-C and a bold red and black raven print from a res in vancouver, canada.  very powerful stuff that somehow does not fit with these cute little doilied pillows on the bed, or the shelf paper on the little bookcase.  an interesting combination, to say the least.   all my witchiness/spirituality with a backdrop of sunshine and sheer curtains.  o my! 

one other thing that should be interesting is how my illness will be handled.  the day we went, i had the 'slows', had difficulty going up and down the stairs.  the owner is a cma (certified med. assist.) and began immediately talking about how doing those stairs will help me be able to do them better, how the walk to the grocery store will strengthen my legs, all these fixer-upper kinds of statements.  my 'slows' are purely from stress, and it was the first sign my body had really given that i was beginning to crumble under it all.  it should be fun (hah!) getting into discussions with her about this at some time.  we'll see!

meanwhile, wait.  it'll all come out the way it's sposed to, i'm sure.  it's hard to remember that during the worst times.  right now, with all your fireworks, cheers, and bands, i'm full of fortitude and optimism.  you all are great!!!  love and hugs all over the place.

[Dee]

Too much cute is annoying!     

[sanmagic7]

cracked me up, dee!  thanks for the smile.

phase 1 of moving should be today.  the guys here are gamers, one is so depressed that when i joked w/ him yesterday about how his motivation level was for moving some stuff today, he responded 'non-existent.  i'm not motivated to do anything.  but i'll do it,'  these boy/men were lovely to let me stay here, but the more i see this depression (he's another walking wounded, as is his older brother) and the edgy kind of vibe that's around sometimes, the more glad this is the last 2 days here.

i'm so nervous, tense, jacked up.  so very very tired underneath it all.  terrible combination.  the elder bro is playing d and d right now, started at 5 this a.m. cuz he plays with a bunch of people in eng.  i just want to get this over with, get settled, get a routine, all that.  soon, baby, soon.

[sanmagic7]

very sad tonite.  tomorrow marks the first time in 15 yrs. that i'll be leaving my daughter's place, but not going back to my hub in mex.  very strange.  have begun having dreams, i know means that i'm beginning to crumble..  can't wait for this to be over.

also heard about gregg allman tonite.  r.i.p.  loved his music, and he had the best hair on a rocker, ever!  quite the memorial day weekend for me, one that i'll never forget.     

[Candid]

Great news that you're getting peace and privacy to heal, San, although I understand that being on your own has its own challenges.

Your recent experiences have been amazing, getting so fast from at home in Mexico to a small space of your own. I know you have a list of things to keep you occupied, starting with health issues.

One step at a time. You know we all love you here. 

[Hazy111]

Good luck to you sanmagic7

[Blueberry]

Yes, good luck to you sanmagic! You've accomplished so much in so short a time, getting out of Mexico and to your daughter's and then to finding your own little place.   

[Wife#2]

Hey, San, lets sit on that porch, enjoying a view and singing, loudly and badly, all our favorite songs by the Allman Brothers! I'll take the low harmony - I run tenor/low tenor - bass. Yeah, for a lady, that's deep. Thank you lousy thyroid! Still, I can now leave the soprano and alto to those with better voices LOL.

Now, aren't you glad you live very far away from me? I have heart, but not a good singing voice.

For the heart of those issues. I hope you were able to sleep, maybe even to dream, without feeling the stitching popping and the snaps giving way. If so, I've got my thread, needles and bedazzler ready to go (closest thing I have to a snap installer). I may not help you fix or repair any blessed thing, but it might be funny and sparkly when we're done.

If any of those dreams got scary, I've got a big set of arms, just like this emoticon  ready to wrap you until you feel safe to close your eyes. Tell about them if you feel ok with that. Otherwise, I see in your eyes that some things need to be absorbed before they get discussed. That's YOUR call. On YOUR time. As YOU are able. I'll still be here, friend. Ready.

[Candid]

Lord, I was born a ramblin' woman!

[Blueberry]

wife#2 and sanmagic, let me join in the singing on your front porch! Singing is really good for me but I have trouble hitting the right notes  (I can't actually whistle either) 

to you sanmagic  with or without the singing