let the healing begin

[Three Roses]

We are standing with you, or sitting with you on the porch, whichever you find most comforting. Maybe a nice cup of tea and a refreshing ocean breeze? We are with you and will remain there. Much love, my friend. 

[sanmagic7]

i know you're all with me.  i'm comforted by that.

i, of course, researched everything i could last night.  if it is, indeed, the type i think it is, i believe it's already mestasaisized into my lymph nodes and breast.  last year, more than a year ago, my massage therapist already found something in my left lymph node that she believed was due to having an infection.  the lesion is on the left side of my head

this year, after a mammo, they've wanted me to come in for a sonagram for a mass they saw.  i didn't pay any attn. cuz i've had very cyst-y breasts in the past, so i haven't rushed to get an appt.  now it seems these may all be connected.

the good news is that i know nothing for sure yet.  just getting myself ready.  the doc was extremely concerned, already had plans for putting a team together.

i won't do chemo - it upsets my system too badly.  i've talked to both my d and my hub about such circumstances, and we're all for quality of life, doing the utmost to preserve that even to the end.  this may sound neg. but it's actually not.  it's thought out and it's fine with those closest to me.  i hope so with all of you.

so, we wait.   in the meantime i have pizza to eat, and god to thank for a great life.  i'll be ok no matter what.  5 days.  there's still some good tennis left.  if the news is pos., we'll go from there.  if not, the same.  i'm preparing for the worst, tho.  and i want to be here to help my d thru her surgery in a month.  that's my goal, and i believe it's a good one.  she needs me, has already asked that i be there with her.  she and i have come a long way.

so i sit, wait, and wonder.  this may be the longest 5 days of my life.

[Blueberry]

  oh sanmagic, I'm sorry. As Candid says, it is good that the docs are finally taking you and your concerns seriously. But that would have been possible without this possible diagnosis too.
Come and sit on the Healing Porch with us and enjoy those flowers you planted.

[sanmagic7]

blueberry, i know you are.  all those hugs are beautiful.  i'll be joining you on the porch till i find out what's exactly going on.

i talked to my hub tonight.  i hated doing it, but knew he'd want to know, just as i would if the situation were reversed. 

bought a bunch of comfort food to wait with.  until i hear one way or another, nothing much matters.  it struck me how something of this magnitude can put things in a different perspective.   all the b.s. about others seems pretty insignificant now.  i'm just glad my d is with her best friend, so she's taken care of with all this.  i know my hub with be ok, even tho he's so ticked he's ready to line docs up like an amusement at the carnival and shoot their heads off.

i'm pretty numb for the time being. 

[Three Roses]

The waiting is the hardest part....

[sanmagic7]

quick update:

i heard from the doc.  he's jazzed - it is not the melanoma he thought it was, which is a very bad one, but still a type of skin cancer.  however, he says the procedure is 99% effective, the cancer doesn't spread, my other concerns aren't linked to it, and everything should be ok.  yay!!!

thank you, god.

so, i'll be in touch with him mon. to figure out the plan.  i'm breathing easier.  thank you all for your love and support.  it meant the world to me.  love you right back. 

[AphoticAtramentous]

quick update:

i heard from the doc.  he's jazzed - it is not the melanoma he thought it was, which is a very bad one, but still a type of skin cancer.  however, he says the procedure is 99% effective, the cancer doesn't spread, my other concerns aren't linked to it, and everything should be ok.  yay!!!

thank you, god.

so, i'll be in touch with him mon. to figure out the plan.  i'm breathing easier.  thank you all for your love and support.  it meant the world to me.  love you right back.

That is so good to hear, San! I'm really glad it isn't as bad as it was first thought out to be. You must be so relieved.

[Candid]

i heard from the doc.  he's jazzed - it is not the melanoma he thought it was, which is a very bad one, but still a type of skin cancer.  however, he says the procedure is 99% effective, the cancer doesn't spread, my other concerns aren't linked to it, and everything should be ok.  yay!!!

[Elphanigh]

That is great news, San! I am so glad to hear it can be taken care of effectively. I hope you can take some of the day to rest after all of thay stress.   

[Three Roses]

[Blueberry]

 

Hope you'll be joining us on the Porch anyway.

[sanmagic7]

i pictured this response before i even saw it.  you all are the best.  thank you so very much for all your support. 

tomorrow the doc and i will figure out when i'll get the surgery done.  until then, i'm on the porch, smelling those wonderful flowers and enjoying the company of everyone there.  you're beautiful, you really are.  fireworks - yep, an immediate smile.   muah!

[Elphanigh]

So glad you seem to be in higher spirits today, dear friend! I hope the doctor can take care of things quickly. So happy to hear all can be helped 

[sanmagic7]

so, this is a day of phone calls, which i dread.  not having my own phone doesn't help as i have to rely on my landlady's house phone.  plus, the rideshare place is always a callback kind of thing.  just a lot of back and forth stuff that i'm not fond of.

i'll be so glad when all the doc stuff gets down to a routine maintenance kind of thing.  for now, there is so much stuff that's medically related, both for me and my d.  ugh!  it's just a bit wearing.  think i'll rock on the porch while waiting for a call back.  that sounds relaxing, at least.

[AphoticAtramentous]

so, this is a day of phone calls, which i dread.  not having my own phone doesn't help as i have to rely on my landlady's house phone.  plus, the rideshare place is always a callback kind of thing.  just a lot of back and forth stuff that i'm not fond of.

i'll be so glad when all the doc stuff gets down to a routine maintenance kind of thing.  for now, there is so much stuff that's medically related, both for me and my d.  ugh!  it's just a bit wearing.  think i'll rock on the porch while waiting for a call back.  that sounds relaxing, at least.

Oh I know how you feel. Phone calls, oof, the worst. lol
But do try and relax today! Perhaps grab a cup of tea or something to go along with the rocking on the porch. The phone calls will stop eventually!