Being childish vs being childlike

[Blackbird]

In my process of healing, I've noticed my inner children want to come out and play. Some get angry, small outbursts like "I'm not a child anymore, leave me alone", some just want to go buy soap bubbles and spend the day doing that. I've been nurturing the angry ones, explaining why these aren't problems anymore, that we can do whatever we like, we're all grown up now. They are suspicious, but I think they listened.

So, this got me wondering the difference between being just childish and angry versus the need of being childlike and playful, nurturing both and allowing them to live happily like they didn't when we were actually kids.

One thing that I noticed was another part of me keeps telling them to "grow up", I don't want that, I would like to maintain my inner children as the children they are and not give them further responsibility than the ones they already had when we were growing up.

So, in talking with that part, I realized it was my mother's influence. "Grow up" is something she says all the time. "You're being like an adolescent", she's certainly right, although I never learned how to behave in any other way. So, now I'm learning how to put a more adult part of me in front of her, and dealing with her like an adult instead of the angry or vulnerable children. It's working out!
I have more respect for myself now.

At the same time, I've been allowing my inner children to be childlike. Daydream, play with my cats, wear a bunch of colors instead of all earthy or black/gray clothes. What I'm trying to contain is that need of being childish, of reacting impulsively and without thinking of the consequences, of being too self-centered and not understanding, with lack of compassion for myself and others. In other words, I think I was allowing my childish parts to be too criticized by my inner critic, instead of allowing my Self to nurture them and talk them out of those behaviors.

It's something I noticed, not sure if anyone here notices the same. We do have to parent our inner children, and educating them into being better people comes with the job.  Progress!

[Three Roses]

 

[Blackbird]