ok, so I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, now what do I do?

[heather.hartig]

I am fighting this diagnosis in my mind. It was suggested that I go online and find some sort of support group. I have CPTSD as a result of trying to survive, literally. I do not know what I hope to get out of this. I am just now finding out that CPTSD is also BPD or borderline personality disorder. I am overwhelmed. I am not allowed to work, going on 7 years now. I still cannot sleep all the way through the night. I am also a combat veteran. I am awaiting acceptance to a doctoral degree program. I have signed up for habitat for humanity. I want to also volunteer at an adoption agency. I hope to one day adopt. I do not self-harm, but have low self-esteem. I also go to church, and want to volunteer there as well. Being positive is foreign to me. Love is almost foreign to me as well, except for the church. I do not want to develop MPD or multiple personality disorder. I need help in figuring out treatments. I am under a licensed psychologist through the va. I need help understanding all of this better, please.

[woodsgnome]

The most important aspect, for me, is developing a meaningful sense of self-compassion; and realizing this isn't my fault, and never was; that cptsd is more an injury than illness/disorder. But it is cruel and loaded with twists and turns, and I've come to accept that it could be a rough ride, but can still struggle to make a go of it somehow.

There are smooth spots along the road, though finding them is problematic to say the least. Staying open, to surprises even, is another key--I've had some things happen when I least expected, and at other times just tried too much, too hard. Bottom line: I can't change then, and only can go forward from here, not my past story. That you have some assistance via your psychologist may bode well--it's never easy to be entirely alone on this trail, and I've benefited from a good therapist as well.

You expressed a high regard and hope for finding volunteer niches. That could be very important, as well--I know my own path was helped that regard. Even while suffering the pangs of this stuff inside, being able to reach out in that way and serve others despite it all can help turn the corner towards a good start on a new life.

Regarding this forum and site, it can help as you re-group and attempt to find some sense to things now, despite the senselessness of where you've come from. There's lots of info already on here, and feel free to add your contributions. You may finally find yourself being understood, and accepted. At least it's not so lonely knowing others have been here.   

[Candid]

I am just now finding out that CPTSD is also BPD or borderline personality disorder.

They're not the same thing, although both most commonly come from compromised early 'caregiving'. IOW, abused children may have either or both.

You are keeping busy and among people, a great way to tackle both. Good for you! And you'll find a lot of understanding on the forum.