Quitting and triggered

[MidnightOwl]

So after much thought and 3.5 years at my current position I've decided to quit.

There are a lot of reasons but the main ones are changing careers, relocating and workplace dynamics. So pretty objective stuff and I feel confident in my decision. But I've been really triggered lately as a result and would appreciate some tips.

I have GAD and usually experience low level anxiety on a daily basis with spikes going to and interacting with people at work. But in recent weeks/days I can only sleep 3 hours a night, and have been getting full on panic attacks. I think once I officially quit I'll feel a bit better but my job is client intensive and I plan on giving a months notice...so I'll have to give the leaving speech about 50-60 times to various people. Which won't be fun.

And I know in 3 months time I'll be in a better head space and figuring out the next steps. I have a few ideas but my cPTSD is heightened at my workplace and I want some time to distance myself from it to get clear about the next direction.

Also, are there certain careers that are better for those of us with cPTSD than others? For example I really want to avoid sales or anything with a boom bust cycle if possible. I'm thinking a routine 9-5 might be better for me then random appointments and being on call. But I'm not sure really. And that would likely require getting an online degree while working, which I'm totally open to.

Thanks in advance

[GlassChild]

I have some ideas.

1) Make a default "leaving" speech, when I left my last job I used "time for something different." People don't need to know why you're leaving or where you're doing. It's not their life.

2) I agree that working in an office is easier on my cPTSD than positions where I had to cold call or interact with humans regularly. Maybe you could try a library or an administrator in a fitness club, somewhere that talking isn't expected.

3) It's easier to get a job when you have a job so I would start looking now!

[Blueberry]

Also, are there certain careers that are better for those of us with cPTSD than others? For example I really want to avoid sales or anything with a boom bust cycle if possible. I'm thinking a routine 9-5 might be better for me then random appointments and being on call. But I'm not sure really. And that would likely require getting an online degree while working, which I'm totally open to.

I'd say, go with your own feelings on this one. I actually work with people, one on one, rather than whole groups, and this does me good! Much better than working with a machine or a computer or something.
Being my own boss is very important to me. I can't deal with unclear hierarchies in offices, that triggers me like crazy. Probably even clear hierarchies would trigger me. This might not be important for you at all, so that's why I suggest: go with your own feelings. What do you need? What triggers you especially and you should therefore avoid?

[MidnightOwl]

GlassChild - Thanks for that thoughtful response, it's very helpful. I appreciate the reminder that it's not their business why I am leaving....I was really caught up in apolo-splaining my departure (theoretically, official notice will be given next week). Yea I'm wondering what career would be best. I'd typically avoided office work out of fear of group dynamics but oddly wound up in a super social, crazy dynamic of a work place and it doesn't work for me. I need something a bit more straightforward. I think I will feel better when I have a job lined up but I am moving 8 hours south and want to take a month or two to reboot. Thanks for the advice!

Blueberry - Thanks for your input, good questions! I'm not sure really. I took my current job (massage therapy) because I thought it'd be low pressure social stuff. But the office I work for is crazy busy and the dynamics between the front desk and management and others are really triggering to me. My clients are pretty great over all but take a lot of out me physically and energetically. I tried out working for myself and LOVE it except I can't make enough to cover my bills. And selling myself/networking just triggers me like crazy (wish I could get over it but I've come to accept this). So I'm considering other options and maybe I'd do better working with a computer after all. Not sure though. Thanks for bringing that up, that gave me a good chance to self reflect/rant

[Blueberry]

But the office I work for is crazy busy and the dynamics between the front desk and management and others are really triggering to me.

I can imagine, I think. It's these people dynamics, where things are possibly not exactly perfect (putting it mildly) and remind us of FOO and that triggers. I couldn't work with crazy busy either. You have obviously up until now, even if not ideal for you. I think I would go crazy on the first day.

My clients are pretty great over all but take a lot of out me physically and energetically. I tried out working for myself and LOVE it except I can't make enough to cover my bills. And selling myself/networking just triggers me like crazy (wish I could get over it but I've come to accept this).

It's sort of similar for me too, except my clients don't take anything out of me physically/energetically. Rather mentally/emotionally. I need to re-charge quite often. I like doing the work itself, but when you're self-employed there's so much other stuff you have to do, as you know. Like selling yourself and with that setting adequate prices, both difficult for me. I'm working on that and making little forward steps. I can't make enough either to cover my bills but am in the lucky position to be still getting disability pension. I realise some countries are more generous with that than others.

I realised recently when I tried out a supposedly easy P/T job in a completely different branch, that it doesn't matter what type of work I do, the same issues from my childhood are triggered. Except that in the 'easy' job there were things triggered that haven't been triggered for a while in my self-employed work. I gave up the 'easy' job after a day.

It's good that you have a couple of months to continue reflecting, even if moves are busy times.

[MidnightOwl]

Hey...I did it! I quit today and feel really positive about my decision. Thanks for all the support here, it's really helpful! It actually went very well, and though I have to relay this info to a bunch of people, at least the major hurdle is finished.

And as per usual....the build up to it was way more anxious then the actual convo.

Blueberry - Yes! It almost doesn't matter what job it is huh? I thought I could kinda hide out doing part time or fun retail gigs but I found the same dynamics came into play no matter where I worked. Although retail was by far the most catty and competitive.  And yea, I grateful to have some time for reflection and redirection amidst the move...I may have to figure out how to do better marketing/sales and just try to have my own office, would be ideal.

[Bee123]

Hey...I did it! I quit today and feel really positive about my decision. Thanks for all the support here, it's really helpful! It actually went very well, and though I have to relay this info to a bunch of people, at least the major hurdle is finished.

And as per usual....the build up to it was way more anxious then the actual convo.

Blueberry - Yes! It almost doesn't matter what job it is huh? I thought I could kinda hide out doing part time or fun retail gigs but I found the same dynamics came into play no matter where I worked. Although retail was by far the most catty and competitive.  And yea, I grateful to have some time for reflection and redirection amidst the move...I may have to figure out how to do better marketing/sales and just try to have my own office, would be ideal.

Congratulations on making the decision, MidnightOwl!
I wish you all the very best.
I am still toying with the idea of quitting myself.

[Blueberry]

Hey...I did it! I quit today and feel really positive about my decision. Thanks for all the support here, it's really helpful! It actually went very well, and though I have to relay this info to a bunch of people, at least the major hurdle is finished.

Best wishes on figuring out your next steps.

[Candid]

I thought I could kinda hide out doing part time or fun retail gigs...

I used to think that would work for me, then I found it was more stressful to keep finding these part-time gigs. Like GlassChild, I was more comfortable with office routine.

If you're not under financial pressure, how about deciding what work you'd like to do and shadowing someone who does it, or interning in that field?