hi

[stephernovasx]

Don't know if I have it or not, but I identify with a lot of the things listed as symptoms. Had a recent breakdown of a super close friendship - not sure if she's walked away or has taken a step back. Either way it's hit me pretty hard and I'm so fixated on it. Half of me is terrified that it's over, so I have been isolating severely, and dealing with the dysregulation of my emotions. The other half has been trying so hard to be social and make it through the day. From day to day my mood feels like a sky-high ball, I'm not sure which way it's going. Not to mention I lack skill in trusting myself to make the right decision not to screw this friendship up totally (first TRUE friendship I've had ever). Everything has come at me so hard as I finished school (my last year of school was so hard financially and personally), got a new career job, moved out, stopped talking to my family, and started my fitness/wellness journey. I'm constantly spinning and I feel like my brain won't stop. Ugh. Why do I have to deal with this crap? Why couldn't I have been given the opportunity to have a healthy childhood and be taught this all before so I could just LIVE life, instead of wasting my life trying to deal with this crap daily?!

[Dee]

Welcome!  My first thought is it doesn't matter if you have it or not.  If you identify here then you belong.  I'm sorry things have been hard for you lately.  Here you will find we can offer ideas on healthy coping that sometimes makes it more tolerable.  Also, it is nice to be heard.  Sometimes just speaking it takes the power away.

I have a rollercoaster of emotions as well.  Somedays I feel great, other days life feel intolerable.  Sometimes I think it changes from hour to hour.

[Three Roses]

Although I'm sorry you can relate, I'm glad you found this forum. We have lots of resources and people here that can help you! Learning about CPTSD has changed my life, for the better, and for the first time in my 60+ years there's a group of people I can talk to that get it.

So, welcome! I'm glad you're here and speaking up.

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Step     If you relate to the symptoms you are welcome to post and read here.  It is a tough thing to accept, we've all been there and it isn't fair or right, it just is.  Being angry about that is perfectly understandable and a big step toward recovery as long as you don't stick there, but move through it to the grief, sadness and pain fueling it and beyond that to a more positive, healthier life.  That you can do here together with all of us trying to do the same. I've been here and in recovery for three years and my symptoms have gone from intense, frequent and overwhelming, to occasional, much less intense and more manageable. I hope this gives you some hope.