Success With Butterfly Hug Method

[zazu]

Hi. I just thought I'd let you all know that I've had some success dealing with EF's though the butterfly hug method. 

For anyone who doesn't know, the butterfly hug is a self-soothing method that uses bilateral stimulation. The person crosses their arms across their chest (as if they were giving themselves a hug) and places the right hand on the left shoulder and the left hand on the right shoulder. The person then gives each shoulder a tap or squeeze in an alternating pattern, much like a heart beat. The bilateral stimulation, a bit like EMDR, helps the emotions come together with the rational mind in order to process the emotions or the flashback.

This can be part of therapy, but it can also be a self-soothing method for someone who is in the midst of a flashback when there is no one around to help.

I was surprised that such a simple method had profound effects, but it has. I've finally been able to learn (understand, in a deep internal way) things that could never sink in before. The best way to describe is probably by example. So, I'll give an example of the mental process of working through one of my EF's. I'll call the different parts of my feeling and thinking the emotional mind and the rational mind.

................................
Early morning EF hits while sitting in the garden.

Emotional mind: I'm afraid! I'm afraid! Something bad is going to happen!
(start butterfly hug process)

Rational mind: Why are you afraid?

Emotional mind: I don't know! I'm dissolving in terror. Something is bad and wrong!

Rational mind: What is bad and wrong?

Emotional mind: I am bad and wrong. They are going to find out. They are going to catch me!

Rational mind: Who is going to catch you?

Emotional mind: The authorities will catch me! They'll catch me and judge me and I'll find out the truth and my mind will shatter!

Rational mind: What authorities? What law have you broken by sitting here in the garden?

Emotional mind: My mother. Mother is the authority. She will catch me.
(blur of panic here)

Rational mind: For what reason will your mother catch and punish you?

Emotional mind: I don't know. She'll catch me just being here, being myself. Not being her. I'm paralyzed. The fear won't let me move!

(Something happens here, as if the parts of my mind/emotions begin to come together)

Rational mind: It's interesting that you're afraid of being caught by your mother, when your mother has much more to fear from being caught. She has done many unethical, even illegal things, yet it's you who are afraid of being caught and judged.

Emotional mind: Blank - no articulated thought/feeling

Rational mind: It's interesting that you fear being caught and judged by a person who has no grounds to judge you, based on her own actions.

Emotional mind: Relaxing. Begins to see the wisdom in that. 

Rational mind: In fact, your mother seems remarkably free of the guilt and fear that you've been experiencing.

Emotional mind: Begins to feel relief sweeping away the EF

Rational mind: You are feeling your mother's guilt. She transferred it to you.

Emotional mind: But why would she do that? 

Rational mind: By transferring the guilt feelings and responsibilities for her wrongs onto you, she
can remain innocent and free of this type of fear in her own mind.

Emotional mind: Ooooh! I get it! I finally get it!!
..................................

At that point, I experienced complete relief from the EF and ended the process. And you know what, I really did "get it'. The thing about my mother's transferring guilt onto others is something  I knew rationally but would not sink in emotionally. But it's been about four days now, and the knowledge is stll there, internalized. 

Because this is a fairly mild process and I have a lot of EF's this is something I have to do quite a bit, but it really does help dissolve them and sometimes there's an incident like above where the EF is completely processed and new knowledge takes its place.

I just thought I'd offer up my experience in case it might help someone else.

[schrödinger's cat]

I'll write that in my notebook of coping strategies I don't want to forget, because THAT sounds brilliant. Thanks for sharing this. I like your Rational Mind btw, it sounds like a kinder version of Mr Spock.

And congratulations on your epiphany! 

[alovelycreature]

That's amazing! 

Thanks for sharing your experience. I've found myself having similar conversations in my head during EF recently... telling the critic who's boss. I am definitely going to try the butterfly method. I always feel like it's easier to center myself when I get a hug. Self hug is a good idea 

[Rain]

This is the most fascinating post of the day, zazu.   Thank you.    I hear the emotional mind with a child's voice and the rational mind with your adult voice.

What your write, and your two voices coming to resolution reminds me of what I read today about neurons, and healing in the therapists office (I've bolded what reminds me of your emotional and rational minds conversing):

"Current scientific thinking is that, at such moments, each of the two feelings is represented by a neural network, that is, a number of interconnected nerve cells that tend to be activated as a group and represent a certain mental content. In this case the content consists of feelings associated with memories or facts. Conscious awareness tells us that, simultaneously, two neural networks are strongly activated, one for the painful feelings and one for safety and empathic connection with the therapist. Science tells us that when two neural networks that were previously not associated are both activated at the same time, they become associated or "wired" together. This process takes only a few seconds to initiate, though it may take some hours (and perhaps sleep) to become permanent."

http://blog.psytx.com/366/psychotherapy/attachment-to-your-therapist-iii-how-relationships-transform/

I would imagine you are accomplishing the very same thing inside yourself, zazu ...which would be a stunning resolution for a ton of trauma.   I can see what you mean, zazu.   Thanks!

Wow.

[Rain]

It strikes me this is Inner Child work.   Changing those False Beliefs.  It resolves an EF, but I suspect this can also be Inner Child work as well.

And, Be Your Self, zazu ...so welcome at OOTS ...both your Inner Kid and Adult zazu.      Relax in the garden.   Be.

[alovelycreature]

I love when there is some sort of scientific evidence that shows these things. It reminds me of Dr. Brene Brown's work about connection!

[zazu]

Hi all.  Thanks for your comments. I'm glad the post had some value

SC - yeah, it is a bit like Mr. Spock, isn't it! It's pretty helpful to have super logical Spock as a counter-point to that out of control emotional side! And Rain - now that you mention it, I can see how there's a child self at work there, too. That might even explain moreso why the emotional self has such a hard time verbalizing too - if she had her way, she would probably just wail, like a child unable to express herself any other way.  Alovelycreature, I hope this method helps you too, if you decide to use it.

I've had more realizations in the past few days, which is awesome, but has left me rather worn out at the moment. Like getting big doses of truth, one after another. There is a sense of having a new reality to adjust to.

Some of the EF's have disappeared, and it feels strange. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just that I was so used to them (after having them for so many years) that there are blank spaces where certain intense fear reactions used to be. It's left me scratching my head wondering what to do with the blank spaces! That probably sounds crazy, but maybe it's a bit like having money worries for so long that when the person wins the lottery, they don't know what to do with themselves.

Being mindful of what sometimes happens to lottery winners (often, a lot of heartache), I've been aiming to fill the blank spaces with positive associations and affirmations, upbeat music, having fun with the kids, etc.

One of the things about PTSD/C-PTSD that really gets me down is how the symptoms cause me to withdraw into myself, the attention constantly being drawn to all this "internal data" flooding in. It doesn't leave enough energy and attention for the outside world, including other people. So having some of that space freed up, I could do things like play tag or dinosaurs with the kids without the hypervigilance interfering so much, which was nice.

Hopefully, the improvements will continue.

[Rain]

zazu!!!   You ARE healing ...getting better with every day that passes!!

FILL those "white spaces" with Love, with POSITIVE.    HUGE Smiles here.

Yes.

The improvements WILL continue, zazu.

Onward!

[Butterfly]

Oh my, oh my, oh my! Thanks for sharing the butterfly hug technique and also the hugely profound emotional / rational mind conversation! I can't convey how profoundly helpful this is - I've done it in a less structured way (sort of) but putting this type of structure behind it should help clear remaining residual EF type stuff ! Thank you!

[schrödinger's cat]

Butterfly, every time I read the title of this topic, I think "oh hey, Butterfly has invented a new coping technique!"

[Butterfly]

Ha, right! I'm not all that though!