Afraid of the End

[Beauty in the Aftermath]

I grew up in a verbally abusive home. 7 years ago, I left for college and started processing and dealing with everything I went through. Almost 2 years ago, I married my best friend. I am still dealing with my past and I feel so guilty for dragging him through this with me. He is very supportive, but he doesn't understand. He keeps pushing me in ways that bring up my past and it upsets me. When I don't respond or react, he gets upset, really upset without the cussing or the hitting. He yells and screams at me to just do something. It scares me that he'll leave me or worse become like my dad. And, it's that kind of thinking that makes me afraid that our marriage will end. I'm just so tired of feeling guilty and afraid.

[sanmagic7]

this c-ptsd beast is so very rough on relationships.  how can a partner possibly understand something that is beyond understanding, even to the person going thru it?

have you thought of couples counseling?  are you in therapy yourself?  if so, maybe he could just sit in a session so your t could do some explaining for him.  i know it helped my hub a lot right from the beginning to start hearing what might be going on with me from a professional.

all the best with this.  i do so hope you two can find some peace in your relationship.  that would be so great.  big hug.