Finding a support system

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89abc123

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Finding a support system
« on: June 24, 2017, 12:53:38 AM »
I know this topic has been bought up several times, but how do you go about recovering when you don't have any support?

I just don't get anywhere in therapy because if a certain family member starts noticing I'm changing he mocks and humiliates me and then I just go straight back to how I was.

I read somewhere that you need a 'healing relationship' in order to recover but I have severe intimacy issues. I don't know where I can meet anyone who would even want my misery in their life....certainly not a healthy person.

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Three Roses

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Re: Finding a support system
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2017, 01:14:05 AM »
The first thing that occurs to me is to ask if it's possible for you to go no-contact with that person.

A healing relationship can be anything that you find comfort and strength in. Even someone on this forum that you "click" with. But I disagree that you "need" one in order to heal, unless it's just a good relationship with yourself. 

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sanmagic7

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Re: Finding a support system
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2017, 02:55:52 AM »
hey,

i've heard that healthy relationships help promote healing, that a helping/healing environment or community does the same. 

i have found that here on this forum.  the help and support i've been given here has hastened my ability to heal, to continue moving forward, and to feel safe enough to be me, warts and all.  i would think that being continually thrust back into an unhealthy situation with unhealthy people would be counter-productive to healing. 

it's up to each of us to decide what our healing is worth.  i've eliminated several people from my life within the past year who i realized were hindering my healing.  above all, recovery is personal and centered on our selves.  we are the only ones who can provide a safe, healing environment for personal growth and recovery. 

we are here for you if you so choose to utilize the support this forum can provide.   i'm sorry that you have someone in your life who doesn't want to see you recover and become a healthier version of yourself.   i have no doubt you'll figure out what to do about that when you're ready.  perhaps your t can help you with that, too.  (by the by, a good relationship with your t would count as a healthy relationship in real life.)  best to you with this.

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89abc123

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Re: Finding a support system
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2017, 07:27:51 AM »
Thankyou so much for your replies. This forum is great but I do miss human contact. I'm extremely isolated and lonely.

I would like to go no contact and have slowly been distancing myself over the period of 2-3 years. The narc is the bro, but I have to deal with my mum guilt tripping me and playing go between and telling him all of my personal information. I've tried to express to my mum how miserable I am but it's not getting through. She says 'things must have happened when I wasn't around' but she was there for all of it but just refuses to see it and tells me I take things the wrong way, it's extremely isolating.

I'm very stressed and just want to be able to live my own life but time is quickly passing by and I'm scared that when I finally do get some peace it will be too late to enjoy.

My misery spills over into my friendships and attempts at romance so no one wants to be around me.

I just feel like I'm slowly dying.

I'm usually in an ef when I post on this forum so I'm sure it will all pass in a few days.