Feeling like I'm not allowed...

[89abc123]

Does anyone else who was raised in a narcissistic family unit feel like they aren't allowed to enjoy anything or be successful?

I am constantly feeling guilt for having interests that are the same as the narcs. I feel like if it's something they are interested in then I'm not allowed to enjoy it too.

I've even had him become enraged because I watch a tv series that he watches.

My life's become a series of self sabotage and dumbing myself down so that I don't upset the narcissist with my success. I have a lot of grief about what I could have made of myself.

[Lingurine]

I can relate to what you're saying about the narcissists who 'where there first' so we are not allowed to like, own, have, see things the same as they do. My Nsis was like that. I thought about it today. She came into my bedroom once and said: ' This is a (my sister's name) room!' It couldn't possible be my own or my taste or whatever. She was the one who may sing the loudest, say what we where going to do and let her taste prevail. Exhausting really. So yes, I think you're on to something.

Lingurine

[89abc123]

Yes! You said that perfectly! The 'I was here first' mentality. So childish.

The narcissist in my life is a sibling also but my parents are the flying monkeys. Butter wouldn't melt. It's caused me an extreme amount of damage in my adult life.

How did you handle your sister? Did you go no contact? Did you ever learn to enjoy the things you weren't 'allowed' to be interested in?