I think I know why my appetite has diminished...

Started by songbirdrosa, July 07, 2017, 08:51:44 AM

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songbirdrosa

It's because it was never really that big to begin with. When I was a child, my parents and grandparents drilled into me that I had to eat every scrap of food that was put in front of me out of good manners, whether I was hungry or not. Naturally, this lead to me having a very warped relationship with food, often fluctuating between binging the pain away, then starving myself in an attempt to lose the weight I subsequently gained.

Since I've started my recovery, I've found that I simply don't want to eat as much as I used to. Now I realise that I only ever ate the amount I did purely and simply because it was what was put in front of me. And I'd been conditioned to always finish my plate no matter what. So now, after dinner tonight where I only had as much as I needed to, I think I can say that's one symptom I've finally gotten a handle on  :)

clarity

Same here Songbird. Once had a big arguement as a teen with my father as he was angry I left one chip on my plate. I did it to make a point. I cannot remember who won, just the sheer incredulity as he insisted I eat it and the awareness that this was bonkers and abusing my right to choose for myself. I had horrendous eating issues for almost 30 years. Rage about that basic joy being ruined for me. Now I love food with a passion and gratitude that can bring me to tears. The relief is inexpressable. 
So glad for your realisation... the practice of self nurture through food ( having what you like when you like as much or little as you like!) can be so useful and a good indicator of where you are at. In recent crisis I allowed myself to comfort eat and it was gentle and relaxed and soothing...

What are you favourite foods?

Mine are strong cheeses, homemade saurkraut,  rocket leaves, peanut butter, honey, sourdough breads,  homemade cakes, plain yoghurt,  unprocessed dates... yummmm


songbirdrosa

It feels nice, because I thought there was something wrong for the longest time. But it's just normal! I get very excited by normal these days  ;)

I love various cuisines. Italian, French, and Japanese are probably my favourite. Specific foods? I love peaches, grapes, cherries, mangoes, pork, fresh bread, and roasted veggies. I actually trained as a patissier a few years ago so I adore baking, making my own cakes and desserts. Couldn't make a career out of it sadly, far too stressful for delicate little me, haha.