What Triggers Your EFs?

[Kizzie]

I thought it would be useful to share our experiences with what triggers us so the question in this thread is:

What Triggers Your EFs? Certain kinds of people? Specific people? Certain types of situations? Places? Smells? Sounds? Other? 

[Dee]

I've thought about this and I have so many triggers, some I am not comfortable sharing.  I feel it reveals too much.  I have a few that I am okay sharing.

A common saying.  I don't hear it as much as I did.  People say it to be nice and I get really upset.  I hate that.
Time of day.
Feeling like I have done something wrong.
Hearing stories about family by family.
TV, news
Photos
Events
Some smells
If someone looks too familiar.
Madonna song "Live to Tell" and another one.

Though, sometimes things just hit me.  There is no way to prepare for that.  There are some more specific triggers.  Those are easier to avoid.

[Three Roses]

I am very triggered when I think someone is trying to be controlling. It doesn't have to be me they are trying to control.

Feeling like someone is angry with me causes a feeling that is close to panic. My heart pounds, I get sweaty.

Those are the ones I feel comfortable sharing.

[songbirdrosa]

People are a huge one for me. Anyone who reminds me of my FOO even just a little can set me off, depending on how I'm doing on the day. Having too many people around I find trying as well.

Some songs I can't listen to

Any place that's closely tied to a bad experience or person

Unexpected physical contact

Noise

Feeling 'trapped' e.g. a guy fell asleep next to me on the train once and I nearly punched him because I got so panicked

There's one language that drives me crazy too because of problematic housemates who spoke it. I get scared someone will call me a racist because of it.

[Lingurine]

Being tired or ill, I was not allowed to be tired or ill when I was a child.

People who try to control others and want attention all the time.

Lingurine

[clarity]

Coming home from school time, heads for food. Bad well into my 40's, almost gone now.

People showing no interest in my thoughts/feelings and perceiving being ignored.( well this is better than it was, can still trigger if its FOO.)

Invitations and having to commit to things in advance.

Loud noises, loud talking.
Manic busyaholic people.

Immaculately groomed and v well dressed people.

Thinking Ive upset someone.

Being controlled in any way.
Authority figures abusing power.

[healmyfluxlife]

Her visits. I survive until it's over, then I descend into a depression and thoughts of self-hatred. I'm only recently consciously aware of this trend after years of therapy and recovery. I didn't realize that I was triggered to a trauma loop.

Her touch, when she tries to hug me.
Her rage.
Seeing a mother yell at her crying child. Actually, just about any instance of inappropriate rage toward a child.

There are others but I'm very close to a recent visit of hers and in the middle of healing, those are the ones I'm in touch with.

[clarity]

V interesting that the worst trigger of all disnt even get a mention on my previous post!!

M.

Her voice.
The thought of seeing her.
Memories of her behaviours that pop up randomly and often at the moment.
The fact she lives so close by means am always hyper alert. I need to move away.

[Gromit]

Having to ask someone for something, especially if they seem to have more authority than me
Feeling I have done something wrong
Feeling I have upset someone
When someone is angry, annoyed, frustrated....leads to the above feelings.
When I am misunderstood
People messing about, being silly, I just don't know how to behave
People ignoring me
Rage towards a child
Too much happening at once
The thought of seeing my mother

I will probably think of more. My counsellor asked about asking for help today and I said it triggers me.
How does this help? Having shown her the NHS information about C-PTSD which is added on to PTSD she says it is as if I am in a cage, but the door has been opened, I just don't know what to do about it.

[annenonimoss]

thanks for a great thread. I am in an emotional flashback right now. I am shaking, I have a headache, I'm afraid and lonely. I just got off the phone with a person who interviewed me for a group and turned me down. I said "You may want to tell future applicants that you are looking for qualification "x" before setting up an interview. I wouldn't have scheduled the interview had i known you were looking for "x". IN fact I asked you what you were looking for and you didn't answer."

Anyway, I felt lots of tension during the conversation, probably because speaking up for myself was a big no no growing up. I feel so alone. I called some recovery friends. Didn't feel any attunement.    Need some attunement!

So, being mistunderstood, BIG EF trigger for me. Being treated unkindly...I automatically think, "well this is typical," and I get angry and self-protective...assertive and intense.

this stuff is so hard

[texannurse]

EF triggers for me:

Being ignored/abandoned
Feeling like a burden
The thought that someone is "tired" of me
having to ask for help

All of these send me into EFs which i call "spirals". I guess I just didn't know the correct term before. I just had one earlier so these are triggers currently in my mind.

Texannurse

[clarity]

I crave that attunement too Anne...because when it is missing aaaaagh! its so awful...and often it is missing because most people are not authentic. We can't ignore feelings because they are so powerful in us...I hope your flashback subsided soon... good to meet you here...a hug if you need it...   

  these guys are the nearest I could get to a tune ment...!! 

[clarity]

Spirals is a good word for it TN.... down the plughole it feels like to me.... sometimes I picture that in fact which weirdly helps a bit.

I try to see my EF's as like the weather...and allow it as much as poss tho thats such a challenge when its happening.

Ignored for me too such a trigger tho this has improved a fair bit recently.

The forum is so amazing for being seen...gradually it sinks in that people who care actually exist...and 'get it' which is quite miraculous really.

[buddy]

My mother-in-law.

I've only recently discovered I have CPTSD.

How do you reverse someone emotionally triggering you, I wold be quite happy not seeing my MIL however my husband would like me to visit her next month with him.  Any advice?

[woodsgnome]

EF triggers of mine are so numerous they're impossible to compile into a comprehensive list. Much as I've worked on various ones, it's shocking to me how easily and frequently they'll take over my entire being to where I feel unhinged and dissociate a lot.

Some EF's are surprising, even when I know I'm in vulnerable territory and can prepare accordingly. Recently I underwent knee replacement surgery, and despite steeling myself for some invasive aspects of it, there were moments (e.g. ultra-sound) when I felt particularly close to the edge of sheer panic, not from the procedure per se but the associations that kicked in.

These icky feelings can still surface post-surgery while doing physical therapy. If not the activities themselves, the hypervigilance can be acutely present and play havoc with my thoughts to where I'm an awkward mess.