Sleep issues and fears

[WoodworkerNan]

I'm new here. I've been working with a Somatic Experiencing therapist, making great progress but she is off work for a few months and I'm really struggling right now, after encountering a new trigger. (I'm in the process of trying to find someone to see in the meantime.)

Main problem right now - I'm afraid to go to sleep. I don't have night terrors or nightmares. I think it's more that some of my traumas were inflicted at night or when I had no way to escape. So keeping myself from falling asleep now, even though I'm tired, is somehow "keeping me safe." But it's so not good, because I really need to sleep and I wish I didn't have to take medication to knock me out. Am I making any sense? Anybody else have this problem and can give me some suggestions?

Many thanks.

[Kat]

Hey there!  I just started working with a Somatic Experiencing therapist.  I've seen her just three times so far.  I, too, have sleep problems and suspect that a lot of the trauma I suffered took place at night.  My way of coping over the years has been to drink myself to sleep.  I wouldn't advise that one. 
The SE therapist explained to me that animals and humans go through cycles having to do with the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.  The sympathetic is in charge of action and energy, and the parasympathetic balances that out and slows us down.  So, for instance, the sympathetic n.s. tells us to find food and eat.  Once we've done that, the parasympathetic n.s. slows us down and makes us sleepy so that the food can be digested. 

Anyhow, she asked what it was like for me at night when the parasympathetic n.s. kicked in to start readying me for sleep.  I told her that it doesn't.  I think she already suspected that.  She explained that if we weren't cared for properly as infants and were not guided through theses cycles and/or if we are constantly hyper-vigilant as a result of trauma, then we get stuck with the sympathetic n.s. stuck in ON mode.  My alcohol use basically did the job my parasympathetic nervous system couldn't or wouldn't. 

This evening I took care of myself.  I took a melatonin supplement along with my nightly meds.  I'm feeling ready to sleep without resorting to alcohol.  You might try to see if you can signal your body into kicking in that parasympathetic n.s. by shutting off screens, dimming the lights, listening to soft music, breathing deeply, etc.  For me those things can help some times, but it's not a guarantee.  Some times I'm simply incapable of taking proper care of myself.

Not sure if any of this helped.  I hope you find sleep soon. 

[Dee]

This has been a huge issue for me.  Afraid to go to sleep, afraid to close my eyes.  I was traumatized at night.

I do several things.  First, I would lay down (not sleep) during the day and practice relaxing and closing my eyes.  I also keep a strict schedule.  I go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time most mornings.  This way I don't put sleep off.  I do take medication.  I've decided it's okay to do that.  In this case taking medication is taking care of myself.  Sometimes I tell myself "be brave."   I use an essential oil diffuser for lavender. I sometimes listen to guided imagery when I am really anxious.  I know nothing gets better without sleep.

There have been some nights that I can only sleep on the couch, but I don't allow myself to make that a habit.

[Kizzie]

I don't know if this is a good idea or not,     but it works for me.  If I'm having trouble I watch funny/cute videos on my iPad. It's distracting in a positive way, but isn't overly engaging at the same time and seems to soothe/comfort me.  I'm usually able to drift off (so just make sure you don't dangle your iPad over the side of the bed when you're watching it if you have one and try this ).   

Hope this is helpful

[Blueberry]

I developed sleeping problems after being re-traumatised in inpatient care. I refused to sleep several nights in a row after the re-traumatisation because I was terrified of what all else might come up. The last time I was in inpatient care (different place) I could only sleep with the light on and that's stayed with me. When I turn the light out, I'm full of beans, wide awake. So I leave the light on. I don't sleep so soundly, but I do sleep.

[StephHarr]

I spent my entire life not sleeping, fearing sleep, and startling awake at EVERY sound (even the carpet fibers moving) until I upped my physical activity...I am almost 40 and just started sleeping 3 months ago...finally. I find that getting up at 6am everyday and going for a strenuous 5-6 mile hike, makes it so I literally pass out when I hit the bed at night.  I know not everyone has the ability or time to do this though, I just found it helped me tremendously!

[Three Roses]

Welcome! Great idea, thanks

[ricepen22]

Hi
I found a physical job helps. If I'm doing office work I make shore I walk on my break. Yoga is good for this.

When I wake up in the middle of the night. I find that getting up for at least half an hour. Drinking a hot drink and finding a distraction (tv, magazine, etc) helps. Clearing your mind before you sleep again.

Interesting to here about the melatonin, I think I need to look it up.