ADD or C-PTSD

[movementforthebetter]

I've been thinking about whether or not I may have ADD in addition to C-PTSD. I struggle with time management sometimes. It's all complicated and muddled by the C-PTSD.

I EF and dissociate heavily at work and during tasks as my inner critic really latched on to comments and judgements about me that I have heard over the years.

I am slower than most at tasks and have a tendency to over-think what needs to be done out of fear of negative reprocussions. I think my speed may also just be a limitation... Some are slower by nature. But I live in a fast world and speed causes me great distress, more so when I'm struggling with priorities and estimating how long something will take.

I also suffer from some pretty bad memory problems. Short-term memory is shot, I've become a copious note-taker to cope. But in times of stress my memory worsens significantly now. In the last week I left my keys at work, locking myself out of my home, forgot my phone at a friend's place 2 days in a row, and lost my bus pass.

It's gotten to a point where I can't tell whether my job is a bad fit for me. I am scattered and barely functioning these days. All I know is I am unhappy and trying to stay afloat, but also losing the will to try any longer, which is a high-risk place to be in my head as I need an income to live on.

Has anyone else found they also have ADD or ADHD, and if so, what was your journey to diagnosis like, and how are you now?

[LaurelLeaves]

I'm sure you could have ADD and C-PTSD.   But I think having the Freeze response contributes to having ADD-like symptoms. 

I was diagnose with ADD once, but I think it's a misdiagnosis.   The medication didn't help. 

I am also slower at most tasks, and have poor memory.  I think that is because I have what is called "slow processing".   It is not a disorder, but could lead to other disorders like dyslexia and audio processing disorder, which I'm sure I have to a degree.

[the mirliton]

Hello movementforthebetter,
I feel very lucky to have happened upon a Psy Nurse who is a guru with her knowledge of meds and of the diagnosis(s) that might benefit from using the right one(s). I was diagnosed as bi-polar so very long ago, and it was my psy nurse, who treated me while I was going twice a week to the DBT Institute that figured it out. She was shocked that no one had put two and two together that I was ADHD with CPTSD. It was that "oh I get it" moment  that is helping me to understand my rocket fast reactions to triggers. I have learned and know and WANT to apply healthy ways to deal with a lifetime of different traumas, however the learning curve is a bit steep considering how quickly my "emotion mind" throws me into a abyss. Being gentle with ourselves (warts and all) and learning to work with what we have is a huge beginning on the road to "creating a life worth living" (DBT)  Learning about ADHD which in turn is helping me to understand why I do the things I do makes the journey a teeny bit easier. The proper diagnosis (whatever it may be) is like having google maps to help figure out how to get from here to there. 
But hey~what do I know~I came to this forum today only after I had thrown my sense of self into the toilet/self harmed/ and felt with every cell in my body that I was a mistake. I am feeling better now, and it is only "after the storm" that I am glad to be alive. I do wear myself out though!! I am so grateful for this "safe space" to have heart-filled fellow humans who seem to truly understand just how tough some days can be to sound off with.
You/we are not alone.
Love to all
the mirliton

[radical]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at one stage (as an adult), and put on Ritalin.  I didn't like it much, I felt I'd lost my sense of humour and much of the colour of life.

I see my executive dysfunction symptoms as part of my CPTSD.  I'm now on an MAOI which helps.  It's possible to have either or to have both.  It's difficult to deal with the symptoms you describe, I know.  I have a notebook I carry with my and have lists in it.  I use it as a memory prompt in other ways, noting things down I fear I might forget.  I've also found poly-vagal interventions really helpful for all my trauma symptoms:
http://stephenporges.com/images/stephen%20porges%20interview%20nicabm.pdf

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank u for sharing movement for all and everyone
I came on this morning to share these very same struggles
I didn't used to think anything of my memory and 'intelligence'. When I was in my addictions I just thought I was intelligent and wise but now I don't use addictively I've got to see what my functioning is like. I get very triggered when around high functioning individuals ( my perception) people who seem so knowledgable and intelligent . I then go into have unintelligent I am and feel bad for my memory problems and not being able to reel off facts ..
Thank u radical for suggesting the note book that is a really good idea, I hadn't thought of carrying a note book and jotting down.
I wish I was more high functioning that is the bottom line, it seems to make life easier and I watch others who can hold people's attention for long periods of time which I would really like being able to do...
With some subjects I can esp creative or self development stuff.. not comparing myself to others really helps and just focusing on comparing my own progress..
My memory is better than it was now I am on ssri
I don't think I have ADHD not sure about add I will look that up
I do know my attention a lot of the time is in worry and self doubt so that is a def distraction from learning
Funny though my long term memory is so good - I can remember being 4 like it was yesturday and tell u details
...
as mirliton says 'being gentle with ourselves ' and ' learning to work with what we have ' I find that compassion and acceptance helps me in so many areas ..
And as laurel leaves says 'the freeze response ' I def can relate to that