Returning to Former Therapist -- *TW*

[Fictionalizer]

*TW*

I thought I found a great therapist while searching for one. She has loads of experience, more than 20 years, with ritual abuse. That's what happened to me. Then suddenly she disappears from the counseling group. I was stunned and greatly disappointed. No return calls. No contact even from the manager of that counseling group. I just don't get that kind of attitude.

So I decided to return to my former therapist. He's not a trauma specialist. Though I think if he can't deal with what I'm working on he might ask to refer me to someone else in his group. The best part is he knows my history. And secondly it's a man. I do better with men than women. He confirmed to me that I was indeed a ritual abuse survivor. That shocked me. I hadn't expected him to know that. I had only two therapists before him tell me this. Still I disbelieved it because it didn't involve satanism. And it didn't make sense that seeing serial murders could have anything to do with ritual abuse.

[Fictionalizer]

Well, now that's changed again.

Talk about weird.

This is weird.

That therapist with 25 plus years of experience with PTSD and ritual abuse survivors just called me and apologized for not getting back to me sooner. I still like her. We're laughing with each other on the phone.

Anyway, the receptionist at their office suddenly left and that's why there was a long time before she got back to me. That meant that phone calls were going on unanswered, etc. They got that squared away. Phew!

Now the hurdle is the cost. It's more than I can afford. The therapist is determined to make this happen for me and will get back to me again with hopefully a new cost. If not, I might have to ask my husband and/or son to help me with the cost. I've always paid for my appointments with the money I get from SSDI. It's not much but it always covered my appointments and then some.

[Three Roses]

I'm so glad she finally got back to you and there was a reasonable explanation. Hopefully she can work something out and be able to work with you.

I would love to have a trauma therapist. Mine is trained in gestalt only, but it seems to be helping. Just being able to say out loud what happened without being treated like a pariah and/or having to wind up comforting someone about my abuse (!) is a huge relief!

[Fictionalizer]

I went to my first appointment with the new T today. I like her even more in person than on the phone. It's a good fit. I felt comfortable right off. I asked her plenty of questions which I found on the sidran.org website about seeking a therapist.

I had to create a timeline for my life. Now that was triggering for me. I made some major connections on that timeline. Going to the appointment was triggering too. I had severe anxiety attacks for over twenty-four hours, bad enough that I couldn't eat normally for a whole day prior to the appointment. I think the number one reason for that was all of the women Ts who violated me in various ways. And here this T was a woman. As we ended the first appointment, I told her the reason for my anxiety. She told me that was understandable considering all of the violations of authority I had with these Ts.

I think I'll find other reasons for my anxiety as I go along in therapy. I've got some heavy duty issues to work through and I know it.

Our first therapeutic appointment is in two weeks.

[Three Roses]

 

[sanmagic7]

sounds like it worked out well all the way around.  i'm very happy for you.

yeah, i don't doubt you'll find more reasons for your anxiety as you go along.  peeling back those layers often uncovers stuff we weren't aware of at the start.

big hug to you as you continue with therapy.  i hope it keeps going well for you.