memory issues

[Deb]

I've been suffering from memory issues as I become more and more depressed. Its pretty scary. My psych rang me in the morning a couple of days ago, then again later that afternoon. Later that evening I couldn't remember if she had called me that morning as well as that afternoon, so twice in one day. I feel like I'm going crazy!
Has anyone else had this? I'm scared and need some reassurance and comfort.

[fullofsoundandfury]

It's so scary and disconcerting, isn't it?

The parts of me who are really mean to me, have a field day when I get like this. My inner mean self really uses it to criticise and toxic shame me, which compounds everything and makes it worse. Being extra forgetful also heightens feelings of derealization and lack of consistency and trust in reality. All of it combines to make me feel unsafe. Then I despair.

I am improving now but I noticed over the last week or so I was extremely amnesic, losing things constantly, forgetting where I'd put things. It coincided with depression feelings. As for remembering how many times someone had called me, I don't even have the expectation to remember that stuff normally!

There are sciencey, brain reasons this happens to us.

I am angry that I can barely remember anything from the first 20 years of my life. I can also see how much harder this kind of forgetfulness makes everyday life! Modern life requires sharp memory.

I notice people without CPTSD get very forgetful when they are under stress or have too much to manage or think about, or have had a shock.

Next time I notice myself being forgetful, I would like to try to see that as a signal that I am in some kind of flashback state, and that this is an opportunity for me to do some deep breathing, say soothing things to myself, comfort and protect myself, refuse to accept self abuse about it,  relax my muscles, and manage the flashback kindly. 

[NV]

So sad that you are feeling this too but your message has really helped me today. I'm a new member. After a talk with my sister recently about past abuse I've basically been having nightmares, waking up with nail marks in the palms of my hands, getting frustrated and forgetting simple things - my keys, work tasks etc. It makes me feel really stupid and I definitely shame myself badly for it. This has happened to me before at times of stress, housemates would come home and find my key in the front door or I have to come back to the house three times for forgotten items before eventually being able to leave. I can't offer any advice about how to deal with this emotionally but I have found that technology helps me manage it a little. I use Siri on my phone for notes and reminders and trello for work (an online checklist). Hope this helps a bit x

[AphoticAtramentous]

I use Siri on my phone for notes and reminders and trello for work (an online checklist). Hope this helps a bit x

I too have a few memory problems, probably not quite as severe as all you lot but they are there and they do annoy me. But I make checklists, reminders, and I have a calendar on my phone which tells me where I need to go, where I've gone, where I need to be, and what I need to bring. It's very handy and certainly helps take the stress off. ^-^

Welcome to the forum by the way, NV! Pleasure to meet you. Sorry to hear about the nightmares, I really know how you feel there. I get them quite often, three times a week, they're not pleasant. :\

[Three Roses]

Welcome to the forum! We're glad you're here, NV. 

[Deb]

Hi NV,
Im glad it helped you I smiled at what you wrote about trying to leave the house and going back three times for forgotten stuff. Me too! It amazes me that we probably live on opposite sides of the world but are having the same behaviours that frustrate us. Makes me feel less alone.

[Candid]

Oh yeah, Deb! 

I descend the wooden stairs from the attic in MIL's home in the middle of the night, and work my way as quietly as possible through the security system to get outside for a cigarette.  Have cigarette on the back step.  Do the process in reverse and in the dark -- because a whopping big spotlight goes on as soon as I step outside, so I'm temporarily blinded -- and the minute I lie down I realise I can't remember actually locking anything. That would be no fun at all next morning.

It's the sort of thing that amuses other people, and we're 'forced' to make a joke of it ourselves.   

On the plus side, it repeatedly turns out I'm a bloomin' miracle on autopilot.  But there's always that middle-of-the-night eye-popper: Did I leave something on the stove??

[NV]

Thank you for the welcomes <3 these comments nearly brought me to tears on my way home from work.

We are not stupid, our brains are just taking in different information to make sure we are safe. Our brain doesn't have time to remember to bring the laptop to work 😂

[Andyman73]

Thank you for the welcomes <3 these comments nearly brought me to tears on my way home from work.

We are not stupid, our brains are just taking in different information to make sure we are safe. Our brain doesn't have time to remember to bring the laptop to work 😂

Quite the opposite, in fact, probably above average IQ. Wife regularly dismisses my documented memory issues with stupidity and ignorance. My memory issue is documented because I had testing done to rule out medical issues.  Basic DX for me was borderline mentally disabled due to loss of cognitive memory function.

[Andyman73]

Sounds awful Andy. Hope you can improve it.

My memory is also very bad. I can't remember my yesterday's, what day it is, what happened on the morning if it's afternoon etc. It really worries me. I think I've depersonalisation as I've other annoying issued too, including feeling like nothing around me, no matter what happens, is real.

What I've read can help is, unsurprisingly, a healthy lifestyle and diet (omega 3 is especially good for the brain), to lessen stress as much as possible, and to push your memory so it remains active and is forced to expand. There's also techniques for memorising to find online I'm sure.

Actually has been getting worse for me. Wife is the main source, once I leave her, some of those memory abilities hopefully will rebound.  But the lost time and dissociations continue. Been taking Omega-3s for 5 years now, memory not improving. Even did brain excercises...till I forgot all about it.


The reason I'm not better is because I've done the opposite of these things.