What Do You Do When You First Wake Up Every Day?

[AphoticAtramentous]

Weirdly, having my room really clean and tidy (which i struggle with) helps me to get up and face the day with a more positive attitude.

Same here. ^-^

[Deb]

NV im having one of those days today. Stayed in bed or went back to bed. Im not the only one???

[Blueberry]

Im not the only one???

No, you're not the only one! I go back to bed too, though not today.

[fullofsoundandfury]

I used to go back to bed during the days, but I can't now. I hate being in bed. Lying down still with no distractions is intolerable to me. I can't think of anything worse than lying down still with myself.
Strange how the symptoms change over time.

[NV]

Definitely not the only one! On my bad days I don't make it out of bed, don't drink water and even hold my pee sometimes because I'm so anxious about seeing a housemate (even though they are great and totally supportive). Don't jugde yourself, you are not alone. The self judging just makes everything feel worse. I used to avoid my phone entirely too, switch it off but now I message a really good friend that understands and I feel like the simple act of acknowledging that I'm having a sh*t day helps me to come out of the trance, at least a little. Also I do really feel like keeping my room clean helps. If I wake up in a clean room and then make it to the shower... the shower is my exist strategy. I hope this helps and I understand so much how bad it can feel to be in this isolated bubble.

[Candid]

Blueberry, would you consider setting your alarm for a later time?  Putting it beside the bed?  Not setting it at all?

Just my thoughts. 

fullofsoundandfury, do you suffer from insomnia?  I can identify with lying down and doing nothing being intolerable.

[Eyessoblue]

Candid, yes you're right there too, I have days of just laying in bed going over and over stuff in my head yet other days I'm literally bouncing around the room, I do find the weather plays a role in how I feel the nice sunny days I'm up and almost euphoric yet the cloudy rainy days are painful and depressing for me. My therapist says she thinks I suffer from seasonal affective disorder and has recommended I get a light box to help with that, not sure how effective they are though.

[Dee]

I'm a little late to post, so I didn't read all the replies.  For me it about a routine, dong the same thing every day.

I wake up and intrusive thoughts start.  However, I now have a routine so I just get going, like it or not.  For me I go to the bathroom, then take the dogs on a quick walk so they can go.  I get a cup of coffee, check my email.  Then I make my bed, shower.....

Doing the same thing, every morning is the best thing I can do.

[Whobuddy]

It is nice to know I am not alone with difficulties upon awakening. When I was a child, I opened my eyes every morning and stayed very still listening for clues as to who was home and what mood they were in so I would know how to proceed. This began at age three.

Routines are good and I often think of them as muscle memory because on bad days I can just observe myself going through the motions of getting ready for work, eating, and packing my lunch and it gets done well enough.

My therapist has me do a breathing exercise with an app called calm.com. It is free. Click on meditate and then breathe. He wants me to rate my anxiety before and after. He says this will help with the overdose of stress chemicals that have been in my body for all these years. If you try this, let me know how it goes for you. It was much worse for me before it got better. My mind went to the dark side a lot. But now after a couple of months, the breathing is a helpful part of my routine.

[Unbound]

For me, routine is super important. On work mornings, I get up around 7:30, make coffee, and have breakfast ready to go (overnight oats are delicious, easy, and healthy!). On weekend mornings, its a bit later, and I usually get to the breakfast and coffee later too. Getting out of pajamas and brushing my hair, washing my face, etc really help me not stay in bed all day if it's a weekend. The inertia is so easy to give into sometimes!

[Candid]

Eyessoblue, I used to be prone to SAD, too.  About 20 years ago I was struggling to keep a couple of tropical tortoises in a country known for its eternal chill  and had to devote a room to them, which involved heat pads, basking lamps, full spectrum lighting etc.  The Tortoise Room maintained my sanity through three Welsh winters.  I'd remove the heavy outer garments and hang out with my pets for hours every day.

I think you would be interested in a book called Light: Medicine of the Future by Jacob Liberman.  He got himself from legally blind to sparkling blue peepers that didn't even need glasses (I met him when he was visiting Australia) by shining a blinking light into his own eyes.

Here's the Amazon review:

Light: Medicine of the Future challenges the modern myth that the sun is dangerous to our well-being and claims that technological advancements, such as most fluorescent lighting, sunglasses, tanning lotions, and our indoor lifestyles, may be more harmful than helpful. Integrating scientific research, clinical experience, and his own insights, Dr. Jacob Liberman has worked effectively with more than 15,000 individuals, from the learning disabled and physically/emotionally traumatized to business executives and Olympic athletes. The book discusses the use of light in the treatment of various cancers, depression, stress, visual problems, PMS, sexual dysfunction, learning disabilities, and the human immune system.

I had The Treatment from an optician Jacob was training.  Did nothing for my vision, but sure brought out some strong emotions!

[Blueberry]

Blueberry, would you consider setting your alarm for a later time?  Putting it beside the bed?  Not setting it at all?

I usually set my alarm only when I actually do have to get up!! e.g. on therapy days I have to get the 8:09 train, so obviously I can't lie around in bed till 9. I put my alarm away over by the wall instead of beside the bed so that I can't reach it from a lying down position to turn it off and go to sleep again. I have to get up. Then I can of course still decide to go back to bed, but then that's a conscious decision.

I have discovered that 'lying around in bed' is not all bad. For instance I eventuall realised that I was doing it as a way to prevent myself from attempting to accomplish too much in one day and exhaust myself completely. Because when I exhaust myself completely, I 'collapse'. Collapsing can mean e.g. getting the flu for a couple of weeks. That way I end up spending much more time in bed, than when I just allow myself to stay in bed longer.

I also realised that 'lying around in bed' is sometimes also a form of 'rumination' and that 'rumination' is not all bad either. Sometimes allowing myself this quiet, warm, safe, secure place leads to realisations coming up. There can be realisations about the past, but equally realisations about the present and/or going into the future. I need these realisations in order to move on and to heal. e.g. the realisation above about prevention of my doing too much led me to understand why I tended to stay in bed, helped me start accepting my need to stay in bed, well, at least sometimes  More importantly it helped me learn to write less on my Must/Could lists (daily paper lists of what I must do, and what I coud do - I've written about them here http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=5790.msg40198#msg40198 -  because even if  I have a long list of 'coulds' as opposed to 'musts' it gives me the  feeling and then I don't get up. Because it is all too much. Things being all too much was a feeling I had regularly in childhood, teenage years, later, in fact always, so no wonder I eventually started staying in bed.

Routines and some form of force used to work for me, but it got to the point where that didn't. One problem for me is that many things you do immediately after gettign up eg. showering, choosing what to wear, getting dressed, even taking meds are in one way or another triggering for me.  What does help me though is writing out my Must / Could list the night before. I always have it by my bed, so that I can read it on waking up. Sometimes that inspires me to stay awake and get up.

[sigiriuk]

Hi
I start thinking immediately...you know, that washing machine head.  I use Penzu - the online journal, so i write down what I am ruminating about.
For example, on Monday, i woke up with the thought that "I grew up with two 'adults' who did not think the rules applied to them".
But mostly, it's pretty tough when my brain wakes up and starts thinking about this stuff - its overwhelming.
But the idea that my mind could be empty on waking up, is even more painful and scary.
Slim

[Eyessoblue]

Candid, thank you, I have had a look at that book and it looks really interesting, will definitely be buying it.

[Candid]

I was lucky enough to have The Treatment from an optician in Australia who Jacob was mentoring.  It was a long train ride and two nights in a hotel.  The magazine I worked for sent me there.  The whole premise is that emotional states affect vision, something I still have a keen interest in.

The optician was coming at it totally from the visual-cure perspective.  I was (and still am) very shortsighted.  He had a machine that shone various colours into the eyes at different flash rates.  (I had to wear a hood, while the optician watched the polygraph I was hooked up to.) He was a very eager practitioner considering this machine could potentially put opticians out of business, and told me he'd discovered RED made the biggest difference.  Therefore he gave me nothing but RED for a whole day (a weekend) at different flash rates.  I very much doubt Jacob would have sanctioned this.

So... no perceptible change in my vision -- I suspect I read and write too much for that -- but I went back to my hotel in a peculiar state at the end of that day.  Didn't sleep a wink with memories and RAGE pouring through me.  I know I was snappy with the unlucky cleaner who walked in before I was quite ready to leave.  Then, as I walked to the station with my overnight bag, the optician drove past, tooted and waved.  It was all I could do not to give him the finger.  Way too zealous with your new Colour Receptivity Trainer machine, my friend!

That was early Nineties, and I still believe in Jacob's work.  The optician is a LinkedIn contact so I think I'll ask him for an update.

https://ybertaud9.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/light-vision-of-the-heart-and-consciousness-dr-jacob-liberman/