I Was Sexually Abused by a Woman

[Andyman73]

Sanmagic,
Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it very much. I find it a little curious that my first experience as far as I remember, with a female, was that girl telling me her story when I was only 4.

This DV thing, though, is something entirely different. And it has effected so many areas of my life. There has been times I was hurt or sick and should have stayed home. But I did my hour drive to work, just to get away from her.  Worse yet I can't tell anyone anything.  She grew up in the town we live in. So, anything I say to anyone can potentially get back to her.  Has happened a few times. 

Thank you for recognizing me.  I'd like very much to have you as a sister in recovery.

[sanmagic7]

done and done, bro.

[Andyman73]

done and done, bro.

😁💐

[saylor]

Hi Sad Kid,
Regarding resources for men who were abused by women as boys, you might want to check out the Mental Illness Happy Hour (mentalpod.com), hosted by Paul Gilmartin, who has spoken on the pod as well as in interviews about being molested by his mother, and how that has really caused him problems in life, and how he sometimes feels alone because it's not talked about a lot (even though, it clearly happens). He has gone NC with his mom. The podcast itself is about all flavors of mental illness, not just CSA on boys by a woman, but it's a topic covered in at least a couple of episodes, and on other pods in which he's the interviewee.
He also recommends a book called "Silently Seduced" that covers the topic, which maybe you could check out.
I'm so sorry you went through this. Hugs to you

[Kizzie]

Just a quick post to say I'm happy to add resources here at OOTS and on Twitter about women who sexually abuse to help get the word out it's not as isolated a form of abuse as one might think. If anyone wants to write a blog article that would give voice to the issue as well. Please feel free to send me any links you come across or contact me about a blog article.   

We know sex crimes are generally under reported, but having a female perpetrator adds an additional layer of difficulty to the child's disclosure of the abuse. Victims of female-perpetrated abuse report feeling silenced and isolated due to the unusual and less common abuse dynamic. Victims describe being fearful of not being believed, which can be linked to gender stereotypes such as females being nurturing and protective.

Ref: http://theconversation.com/women-who-sexually-abuse-children-are-just-as-harmful-to-their-victims-as-male-abusers-80395

[Elphanigh]

Hi there  I am not sure this will help but this topic is an important one for me too. I was sexually abused by both men and women in my life. Although I am female as well there is a stigma to being abused by a female. I wish I could offer more than a quiet 'me too' and lots of support in this moment. Thank you for posting this. Anytime someone can write about the subject it can spread some awareness.  Thank you for writing this 

[ForgottenOne]

My heart breaks for all of the pain and suffering for the OP and the others. I am a woman, hurt by my mother and stepfathers. She hurt me and my sister in every way. I don't know if she ever hurt my brothers. I can't completely remember the SA but I know it was there. She also was married to a couple of awful men like her, predators.

I am sorry for your hurt and pain and I hope you find healing soon.

[Wattlebird]

Just popped in to share a link to a talk on male csa, I found very helpful.
https://youtu.be/8neKS93z7Qg
Just noting she is a Christian and speaks about Christian themes as well, just warning if that could be triggering to some people.

[Wattlebird]

Also just wanted to say thank you to every guy who speaks up on this, there is a tremendous amount of cultural pressure to stay silent, a friend of mine went to the police he was being attacked and assaulted by an ex girlfriend, they laughed at him and told him to man up, he replied that he would and could they sign this paper saying he tryed to get help from police but was told to take it into his own hands, so when I kill her I have evidence that I tried to get help. They changed their tone after that.
I liked his clear thinking in the face of his disgusting treatment.

[movementforthebetter]

Without diminishing your experience as a male, I wanted to add my voice as my first sexual abuser was a female. (That I am aware of due to blocked memories). I am a woman. Sexual abuse committed by women is definitely under-reported. It can be so isolating as it seems to be the biggest taboo to speak of. Our genders may be different, but you are not alone.

[Deep Blue]

Thanks for being brave enough to say this... me too