Atramentous to Vibrant

Desert Flower · December 28, 2024, 10:25:36 AM

Cheering for you too Aphotic.

What you wrote about them not realising how difficult it is, resonates a lot. It needs to be acknowledged that it's really difficult and it is a big achievement you made it through the way you did. Very well done!

Armee · December 28, 2024, 04:09:47 PM

I am mighty impressed you survived a week with them there! Hats off to you! It is kind of crazy to think how we all survived all the craziness as children 24/7!

Chart · January 03, 2025, 05:24:47 PM

And to boot you came through it all with some heavy duty wisdom. Wow! Bravo! Yes, I agree, healing is now your #1 priority. Get selfish (in the positive sense
:-)

StartingHealing · January 04, 2025, 09:06:51 PM

Kudos!!

AphoticAtramentous · February 02, 2025, 12:33:56 AM

Thanks for all the kind words, all. Your support is appreciated.

I've been withdrawing a bit from everything, plagued by some incessant EFs and nightmares that linger from my FOO's recent visit. But I've learned a lot, healing via a myriad of revelations.

Mainly though reminding myself that you can't force healing, nor can you make it go any faster. You see, my work style is akin to dedicated bursts. I get all the work done as soon as I can so I have time to rest. Every now and then, I attempt to apply this to my own mental health. I constantly contemplate in my introspection, but it doesn't work. I only confuse and tire myself from doing so.

I am trying to remind myself to be patient, by using a broken leg as a metaphor. When your leg is broken, you or course need to give it some degree of attention. Apply the splint, don't walk on it, etc. But you don't want to overdo it either. If you don't move it enough, it might weaken. If you move it too much, the bone won't heal.

In a way, this is how I should treat my CPTSD. To both softly exercise and rest. It doesn't matter how much work I put into the immediate moment, it won't make it heal any faster.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Regards,
Aphotic.

Chart · February 02, 2025, 12:31:19 PM

dollyvee · February 03, 2025, 08:31:47 AM

Hey AA,

I can imagine how dysregulating a visit from FOO can be. I'm glad you're taking steps to be gentle with yourself as you process what happened. That sounds like a very apt metaphor.

Sending you support,
dolly

Desert Flower · February 03, 2025, 05:28:44 PM

Take care Aphotic. You're doing all the hard work.

I hope you can take it easy and rest a bit too.