Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday

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movementforthebetter

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Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday
« on: September 11, 2017, 01:49:03 PM »
I  had been making a habit of celebrating his birthday, rather than commerating the day he died. This year he would have been 68. This year is different - this year I am alone. It doesn't feel like anything to celebrate, just another reminder of all the possibilities I never had. I feel so little and forgotten, even though my friend proves I am not. It was so hard to be vulnerable and say I wasn't coping.

I started getting so anxious about going to work last night. There are compound reasons for that - I am in a demanding time and not at full capacity right now. Haven't had more than 4 days off in almost a year, and only 1 day off last week. I cried a bunch but managed to reach out to a friend to help lend me strength and support to make it through today.

As it is, I am going to be quite late to work because I could not find my keys - they were in the bottom of my purse.  :blink: I am still on the verge of tears and want to turn around and go home.

I would have called in today but my Dr is off and my going to see her to finally say I need more help would have been the only real way I can justify not going. As it is, I still have to make it through the bus ride, then the walk, then the day.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2017, 01:51:18 PM by movementforthebetter »

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Contessa

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Re: Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2017, 01:57:52 PM »
I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time movement.

I know how rough it can get just to survive the next few minutes, let alone the next few hours on a day like this.

You are one tough cookie. You will get through the day no matter what. Tomorrow is on its way

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Three Roses

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Re: Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 03:05:21 PM »
 :grouphug:
Wish there was something I could do or say to ease your pain.

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Dee

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Re: Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2017, 03:17:03 PM »

 :hug:

Be gentle on yourself

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sanmagic7

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Re: Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2017, 04:35:00 PM »
adding my best wishes and support to that of everyone else.    :grouphug:  i'm glad you got some strength from your friend.  one little step at a time and soon the day will be a memory.  with you all the way.  big hug.

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movementforthebetter

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Re: Today Would Have Been My Father's Birthday
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2017, 11:14:32 PM »
I'm on my way home now. It was a dad and long day but it's done now. Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to me. I'm on my way to buy myself some of my dad's favourite flowers and have a quiet evening.