It's no problem, Andy.
I don't really leave...just step aside, so to speak..I there but like behind a window looking out.
It does feel a bit like that at times, yes.
When the teen first started communcating, she would always delete her texts..well, the whole conversation. So my friend was left feeling like something was going on with no understanding of what.
One of my
alters likes to do the same kind of thing, removing the conversations/saving them elsewhere - the conversations of
him and my friend talking about me, because
he was afraid some of the things
he said would upset me. I know this cause I found the conversations and read them. lol And it really does feel like I've missed out on something when I 'come back'. Like two hours have gone by and I don't know where they went or what I was doing.
And trying to bring them back together in the same area of her system. It was like being daddy and big brother and best friend all at the same time. But I did it and they were able to forgive and love eachother again.
Glad to hear it.
And I can feel it inside..like how you would feel after spending a wonderful day with friends or out doing something fun...that feel good feeling inside. I can feel how happy he is, and how tired, too, a good fun played all day kinda tired.
Mmhm. Does feel exactly like that.
I must apologise though, I can only relate to you so far in that I have my own alters but I don't have a close friend that has their own alters. So I got my mate to write me something lol. To put here and add to the thread a bit cause why not. It's all real fascinating stuff, to me at least it is.
Quoted below is a kind of 'letter' written from my mate to myself (with permission to share here). Bold, italics, and underlines are used to differentiate alters, makes it easier to understand I hope. Probably harder to read though lmao.
I remember so clearly when I first encountered you through another persona... She had no name. Just She.
It took me several seconds to realise I was not talking to you anymore. I listened to her incredulously... She was a vile person. Overflowing with pure hatred towards you. She became my enemy immediately - she was everything you were not. And she delighted in torturing you and she wanted to hurt you so bad. And it was so hard - I wanted to destroy her but I was mindful she was hiding inside you and I could not risk hurting you. But I've found a way - I would draw her out, make her want to lash out at me instead. And then she will try to turn me against you and fail every time and that would defeat her, realising she has no power. She came out in your darkest moments but making her crawl back into her hiding place would snap you back to the light and that added strength to me whenever she appeared, though I dreaded those encounters because of what was causing them...
I was glad when she disappeared... Weeks passed, then months. I was more and more confident she was gone... That was a nice feeling.
Then we had a crisis... We were talking and... another persona appeared. I remember the instant hostility flaring up in my heart and I was ready to demolish her again. But I caught myself just in time, because there was something different. She was cold and detached and cynical a bit - but there was no malice towards you. And that melted me inside. That was the first time I met “Aphotic”. We argued and reasoned and she did not like me - because she thought I might hurt you. It took her a while to begin to trust me - that I meant no harm. But just seeing how she loved you disarmed any hostility I felt. I knew she was protecting you, caring for you, so we were on the same side.
And then I spoke to the other two - at different occasions. They still appear during challenging moments, and deep down - I regret I don't have a chance of speaking to them in happier times. But they are friends and allies and I cherish them as I cherish you. And I know how healing they are for you and I try to spill out all I can during our conversations, knowing they will use any insight I give them to help you and pull you out of the darkness.
Your faithful friends - so different from Her, that first one. The witch.
She's gone now - expelled. And good riddance. You don't need Her, She didn't deserve you. But you have your friends now and they will keep you safe! And that warms my heart.
And to avoid confusion, I took Aphotic's name as my anonymous online username, not because
she is around. I've tried to persuade my alters to let people know when I'm not around, avoids confusion.
I wish I could remember the stuff my alter's have said through my mouth. Oh but don't feel bad for
her. She's actually a $%^&*#. Haha\
On another note, I dream of my alters a bit. I had a dream of my most treasured one last night and I woke up feeling really damn good. lol Like, it was an insanely adorable dream. But I also dream AS my alters occasionally too, nightmares too. I wonder if you or your friend has experiences like that as well.
Alters are confusing...
Sorry for rambling. I don't know many people who have experiences with this kind of stuff.
