Age limit? *trigger warning*

[Frederica]

But I also remember after I moved in with said abuser, at some point I would wake up at 7 in the morning and be paralyzed. I would be completely unable to move my body for the next 10 hours. It was *. It was like that for over a week before he took me to the ER. As I couldn't move, he couldn't take me earlier in the day. But still... He shouldn't have waited a week. I've wondered if the doctors knew it was a psychosomatic reaction to fear, and if they did why they chose to medicate me instead. I hope they didn't realise, that would make them less of a*holes.

But maybe you're right. I bet most 16 year olds doesn't consider themselves to be children either. Even if nothing traumatic has happened to them.  But maybe some of us had more to deal with so there was no time left to be children. Though, I think someone else pointed this out too.. Biologically we're not finished growing either mentally or physically at the age of 16. Women or Men. Maybe that's what really defines us as children and adults, that once we're fully develloped, that's when we truly have grown up?

I also had sleep paralysis and somatic paralysis, but never for ten hours! That sounds HELLISH. I don't think I can even imagine, I've never been stuck for more than an hour and even that was like, the worst.

Yeah, everything up-to-date that I've read says a typical, healthy brain isn't really done developing until approximately age 25, and things like trauma, neglect and a poor environment delay it even further. One of the reasons that kids being kicked out of foster care at 18 do so poorly -  the  *average* 18-year-old is only 50% done with certain aspects of brain development, mostly related to decision making and impulse control, and those kids have usually had such unstable lives that they're not even 50% there. So if you had a fabulous and enriching childhood you might be done developing by 23, but but if your childhood was crap your brain might still be unfinished at 27 or even older.

[Lilfae]

I also had sleep paralysis and somatic paralysis, but never for ten hours! That sounds HELLISH. I don't think I can even imagine, I've never been stuck for more than an hour and even that was like, the worst.

It was hellish, especially when I needed to go to the toilet too. Or the hunger kicked in. Most of the time I was left alone. I hope it never happens again. And I hope you don't get to experience it either. I didn't know it had a name.

[Frederica]

Oh goodness yes it's totally a real thing with a name! But I've never heard someone having such long episodes - it's normal I think for time to feel distorted like's taking forever but usually it is actually only a few minutes for most people. I don't know of any reason (biologically) why it couldn't last ten hours though, your body must have been just stressed beyond the limits of human endurance to glitch out that way. 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

Being left alone must have been completely terrifying, that's traumatic all on it's own. I hope it never happens to you again! There are therapeutic techniques and medications if it comes back though, you shouldn't have to just lay there and suffer! Gawds.

[Lilfae]

I remember waking around 7 in the morning, and I couldn't move until 16-17 in the afternoon. That's how I know it lasted for that long. Thank you for the link, I'll have a read!

[Andyman73]

Yeah, everything up-to-date that I've read says a typical, healthy brain isn't really done developing until approximately age 25, and things like trauma, neglect and a poor environment delay it even further. One of the reasons that kids being kicked out of foster care at 18 do so poorly -  the  *average* 18-year-old is only 50% done with certain aspects of brain development, mostly related to decision making and impulse control, and those kids have usually had such unstable lives that they're not even 50% there. So if you had a fabulous and enriching childhood you might be done developing by 23, but but if your childhood was crap your brain might still be unfinished at 27 or even older.

So, then, when I joined the Marines right after high school, after a childhood full of abuse, I had no chance at all.  I served 6 years, and was only just a few weeks past 25 when I got out. Even was deployed overseas in the mid-90s. I was SA 4X, PA 4X(one was during last SA) nearly died from choke hold. Attempt sui 7 times between 1994-1996, from right after first SA till right after last SA while in Marines. Had lots of alcohol induced black outs, lots of lost time, even spent 3 days in a coma on the floor in my room. Was arrested and charged and convicted of public intoxication during that time as well.

And that was after childhood full of abuse. No wonder I married a CN type personality...who as spent 20 years abusing me via DV...which covers nearly every type of DV abuse there is.

Would any of you maybe think I'm not too far off if I say that I think possibly I am a man physically and a child, in some sense mentally?

OH, here's an interesting and rather intriguing oxymoron for ya'll to ponder.  Here in the U.S. A., the Federal Gov't considers anyone under the age of 21, a minor, regarding purchase and drinking alcoholic beverages. How then, do they think you're grown enough to serve and die for your country, with parents consent, at age 17??  You can enlist before you're even old enough to vote!!!!!

[Frederica]

OH, here's an interesting and rather intriguing oxymoron for ya'll to ponder.  Here in the U.S. A., the Federal Gov't considers anyone under the age of 21, a minor, regarding purchase and drinking alcoholic beverages. How then, do they think you're grown enough to serve and die for your country, with parents consent, at age 17??  You can enlist before you're even old enough to vote!!!!!

I absolutely agree it's nuts!  The US military is happy to use children as cannon fodder, I guess.  I would def. support a law raising the draft and enlistment ages.

[Andyman73]

OH, here's an interesting and rather intriguing oxymoron for ya'll to ponder.  Here in the U.S. A., the Federal Gov't considers anyone under the age of 21, a minor, regarding purchase and drinking alcoholic beverages. How then, do they think you're grown enough to serve and die for your country, with parents consent, at age 17??  You can enlist before you're even old enough to vote!!!!!

I absolutely agree it's nuts!  The US military is happy to use children as cannon fodder, I guess.  I would def. support a law raising the draft and enlistment ages.

Thankfully it's an extremely rare occurance. I guess it's to allow those that are younger when they graduate high school the option to enlist. The draft can't take any younger than 18. And even then, must have transcripts to show you graduated.

[Dee]

It's funny that I am reading this today.  My 17 (and 4 months) year-old leaves for basic training on Monday.  I've spent the morning on the phone with the bank trying to figure out how he can have his own checking account while under 18.

[Andyman73]

It's funny that I am reading this today.  My 17 (and 4 months) year-old leaves for basic training on Monday.  I've spent the morning on the phone with the bank trying to figure out how he can have his own checking account while under 18.

There you go, case in point. Dee I pray for protection and safekeeping to surround him for full length of his service.

[Blueberry]

  So I usually befriended people much older than me, spending time with people who weren't classified as 'children', it made me feel a lot more comfortable. I'd be interested to know if that's the same with others here.

It was similar for me, except that until I went to university I'm not sure that I really befriended any of these people in the real sense of the word. I'm not sure that they viewed me as friends really. For me it was an escape from people my own age, of whom I was generally frightened and around whom I felt nervous and out of place. It's not surprising really, B1 was a paradigm of 'what teenagers should be' and I was and still am very different from him. I was not sexually abused by him, but physically and emotionally. He's only 2 years older than me. So people of a similar age - No way, no way, no way. Get me out of here.       

[AphoticAtramentous]

It was similar for me, except that until I went to university I'm not sure that I really befriended any of these people in the real sense of the word. I'm not sure that they viewed me as friends really. For me it was an escape from people my own age, of whom I was generally frightened and around whom I felt nervous and out of place. It's not surprising really, B1 was a paradigm of 'what teenagers should be' and I was and still am very different from him. I was not sexually abused by him, but physically and emotionally. He's only 2 years older than me. So people of a similar age - No way, no way, no way. Get me out of here.       

Thanks for replying, Blueberry.
"For me it was an escape from people my own age", oh yeah, definitely sympathise with you there. My ex/abuser is only 3 years older than me. So my friends are mostly way older than me, or in some cases younger. But never are they my own age. My youngest friend is 12 years old and my oldest is 48! Wow.

[Andyman73]

I wonder what ages my friends IRL would be...if I had any.

[Sceal]

My friends used to be older. Then at some point I became older... Now they are all ages. Although most of my friends live all over the world, so it gets hard to keep a track sometimes.

[Andyman73]

Was thinking, since all of my friends are online only, friends, they do range from old enough to technically be my parent(17 years older), but still 7 years younger than my mom, who is 15 months younger than my dad.
I think a few of my online friends are young enough I could easily be their dad. But that's only due to being members of an online survivor community.