Devastating news after making progress over the last few years

[Blueberry]

First of all, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad atm.      As that is the case, I wouldn't worry about the new account. I'm sure the Mods can deal with that 'off-stage'. IMO it's more important that you're back on here looking for some help.

I know so well these phases when Inner Child(ren) take over and the Adult is AWOL. It helps me to find the easiest self-care method, to start back on again with self-care. So not to expect from myself that I do all of them.

I'm so sorry your T decided to set limits and that that is triggering feelings of abandonment for you.  one for you and one for Inner C.

I quite often relapse into unhealthy ways of coping and I don't even feel ashamed about it, so I'm not really one to say much to you about drinking again. I realise there are healthier ways of coping, but what do you do when you can't implement these?

I read on your other post that you have a dog. I hope in the absence of friends that your dog can be there for you and that you can really feel him/her.

Please write as much as you want just to get it out! That often does help! If you like, you can start your own Journal here. That's been really helpful to me here. I can write much better here than on paper and it helps me that people read and respond.

[Kizzie]

Hi Smellycat

(I will be singing that song all day now lol)

Unfortunately we have a glitch in our password reset that we need an IT person to fix for us and that won't happen for a bit unfortunately.

What I can do is create a new password for your Habitude account then you can reset it once you're in. Or you can change your user name in this account to Habitude2, whichever works best for you. If it's the former, let me know by PM, and if it's the latter just go ahead and change your user name for this account.  The latter probably would work best as then you won't have three new posts under the name Smellycat. 

Kizzie

[HabitudeII]

Thanks Kizzie, it sounds like changing the account name is probably the easiest for all concerned - I'll do that shortly.

[HabitudeII]

Thank you Blueberry for your caring, supportive response. You're right I do have a dog and it's helpful to have him. He definitely shows love even if we can't communicate the same way humans do.

I was able to shower yesterday, which is good - small steps, right? Today I left the house to get him some meds. And a couple of days ago I spoke to my T telling her about feeling abandoned by setting the boundary. She suggested it would be a good thing to work through together, which is probably right.

[Blueberry]

Yup, small steps count! Small steps are often the way. I destabilise myself with large ones and/or even with thinking I ought to be taking large ones. FWIW I'm still in my pyjamas and it's early evening here. Sometimes gettign dressed is too much, never mind showering.

It sounds good that your T is willing to work through your feelings of abandonment with you. But especially  to you for telling her in the first place.