Each Day A Blank Page

[sanmagic7]

cheers to that, mftb.  after what you've been thru on that job, i'm not surprised you have sort of a hangover from it.  i like your attitude of leaving the past in the past becuz it can't hurt you anymore.  that sounds mighty healthy to me.  moving forward ,...

love and hugs, sweetie.  i think you're doing just fine.  you'll get your feet under you, and then you'll do what's needed for the move.

[movementforthebetter]

Still slogging through the mud of moving. Everything's a mess. I am making progress but it's that awful stage in which stuff is all over, being sorted. It's affecting me a bit.

I tried to chill out and watch tv but my family triggers kept being pushed and now I am anxious with tension all over.

My meds used to feel like they helped calm me and keep me from being so riled up all the time. They don't feel like they help that way anymore. I m scattered, jumpy, irritable and emotional at the drop of a hat the last few days.

In my frantic yet wiped state, my inner critic has found a foothold. It starts with a "why did I do/say" whatever. So insidious.


I think this is all linked. I had my good idea for a business. Then, a few days later, I wondered who I am more like, my mother or father. M doesn't work, she's on permanent disability. Which is where I'm going to end up if I can't learn to manage stress and hold jobs longer. My F always had some scheme or idea. None of them really went anywhere. Both possibilities are depression and anxiety triggering. The I Cr comes in and makes it all worse. I still can't identify that horrible, degrading voice. I still catch myself believing it in times like these.

I told friends about my idea and regret it. The ICr says that's the kiss of death for things I want to do.

I don't have to listen to it. It lies, lies, lies. And maybe someday soon I'll fully believe that.

Writing seems to have brought my anxiety down. Time to put all this and myself to bed.

[sanmagic7]

glad your anxiety calmed down after writing - it often has the same effect on me.

and i'll agree with you - lies, lies, lies!

hang tough, sweetie.  you're doing it.  sending love and hugs.