What I want, TW - perpetrator anger - light

Started by Dee, October 06, 2017, 04:46:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Dee


I have been working on therapy goals for the next year.  I unexpectedly found a new one.

I was driving with my daughter the other day and I was thinking.  Why did I smile when my dad was angry?  When it would make him more angry, I would smile more.  I was terrified, but I smiled.  The more I smiled the worse it got, the worse it got the more I smiled.

My daughter asked what I was thinking about.  I told her about an art project I was doing and I was unhappy with it.

I don't want to be like this.  I want to enjoy the moment with my daughter, not think about my dad.  Is it possible?

Sceal

I believe smiling is a form of self-protectiveness. I use it alot, I can't controll it. But I have theorized that using smiling in uncomfortable, potentially dangerous situation is a way to try and diffuse the situation. To make it less dangerous, so soften the other person. It didn't work with your father, but have you noticed wheter you smile in other uncomfortable situations?

I think it's possible to enjoy every moment with your daughter, but it might take some time. Maybe you could try some excersises that works on your thoughts? Like noticing that they are there sometimes, but also work on letting them just pass through and not get stuck. Perhaps that is a way to direct your mind more to the present time to when you're with your daughter?