To My Brave Boy

[rbswan]

My Brave Boy:

Once again, you have shown me your strong, fierce, beautiful heart.  We were together on Monday, talking to her.  Even though it looked like an empty chair, we know it was her, and it was your words speaking truth.  We cried and it was safe.  We got mad and it was safe.  We told her the truth and it was safe.  Her rules are poison and don't apply anymore.  Our therapy friends saw her too.  Just like when we saw them talk to their parents, we saw the silhouette of the mean people who hurt them in the same chair.  We watched them tell the truth and get stronger and love their little selves.  Thank you so much for coming out and saying your truth brave boy!  I couldn't have done it without you and we stayed together.  I know you have had to go it alone for so long.  I left because I couldn't remember.  I left because I believed in lies.  I'm so sorry I thought not feeling anything was how I stayed safe.  Now I know by avoiding my feelings I avoided you.  I'm so glad it's different now.  We are learning to feel all of our feelings and express them in ways that will make us feel stronger, lighter and more free.  I now have tools, ways, of staying with you and sticking up for you and guiding you with love and acceptance.  You are the best part of my heart.  I'm new at this so please stick with me.  I can tell it's working because I finally can hear you.  If you get mad or don't feel heard, I notice your "kicks" to the stomach.  They say, "hey!  I have something to say".  When you feel heard and loved your shoulders shake.  It's ok thats just good energy getting out.  I feel the other stuff too, and we are working on that.  I'll keep us safe during our work.  I want to hear all you have to say.  I'm angry too.  I'm sad too.  I'm lonely too.  I'm in pain too.  It's normal to feel those feelings because of what we had to live through.  It wasn't what you deserved.  We are a team now.  I see you and I won't leave again.  Thank you so much.