eating disorder, scratching and picking?

[Echo]

So I've been researching eating disorders and I've seen a lot of people say signs are things like picking out eyebrows and skin scratching. From what I've read these are both part of the over-restricting and controlling mentality.

I do both of these things. I've thought for a while that I may have traits of anorexia. I've been in therapy for a couple years. but never diagnosed? T said "that's not an eating disorder" and said "you don't look too skinny," when I brought it up, but I am underweight and was more so in high school. And I have patterns of restricted eating as well, but I've been good at hiding it and explaining it away.

Thoughts? Should I try to get treated somewhere else?

[Dee]

It never hurts to get a second opinion.  Any good therapist will totally respect that as well.  As they have learned more about eating disorders they come in many shapes and sizes.  What alarms me is that I feel you feel dismissed.  If you are concerned it should be a real discussion.

[Echo]

That's a valid point. There wasn't a real discussion, instead she immediately tried to explain why I don't have one.

I think I will go seek a second opinion and keep researching it.

[Dee]

Please do.  The diagnosis criteria has changed so much and not all therapist can deal with it.  There are eating disorder specialist out there.  I don't have one, wish I did.  But, I do have the diagnosis and a very supportive therapist.

[Echo]

So true, I feel like some therapists just like anyone else may not fully understand eating disorders.
Thank you xx

[Dee]

It isn't just therapist, psychiatrist and dietitians too.  I am in a system that caters to more of mens health issues and is totally unprepared to help me.  My therapist does the best with what she has.  My first psychiatrist looked at me and said "it says here you have an eating disorder, you look good to me."  I met all the clinical criteria for anorexia and I have severe health issues as a result.  My therapist got me a new psychiatrist.  I have bounced around from dietician to dietician who don't know how to treat me.  They agree with the diagnosis, just don't know what to do.  They finally hired a new one with experience and I saw her twice, it went very well.  I scheduled another appointment and received a notice today that my appointment is with someone else.  I'll find out more Monday when I see my therapist, my guess is she quit.   

To be honest I feel like giving up right now.  I can't treat myself, hard to since knowing my weight is triggering.  I know I am low right now, but I've had it trying to work with people who can't help me because they don't know how to.

[Sceal]

TW
I'm overweight, and I got an eating disorder - though you can't know by looking at me.
Most of the time I eat to little, and I've obsessed over how much and what to eat for years. At a point it got extremely bad, and I told my psychologist at the time that I had lost control. But he saw it as a self-destruct/self-injury kind of thing - and we weren't going to talk about that. I guess he just simply didn't believe me because I never lost any weight. I couldn't stand on my own two legs without support in the end. Fortunatedly I had a strong willed friend at the time who forced me to eat. It was awful, but it saved my life.
I've had problems with my weight and body since I was a child. And it wasn't until this year it was taken seriously. I didn't get intensive therapy for it, but I got enough that helped me get back on track.
I still spend x amount of hours out of the day to figure out what to eat. But I no longer punish myself with food or lack thereof.

What helped me was to be allowed to talk about it. To talk about why I got problems with food. About the shame, and agree to a number of meals each day, and to get some understanding of what food is actually good for me (the internet and newspapers are full of "eat this if...." next to a recipie of a cake and another article of excersise). It also helped to hear that by eating/not eating it will affect my chances of recovery and healing.
I want to recover, I will take the hard job of doing so. And being told that I need to eat enough and regularly in order to improve progression was a blow to my gut. It took me some time in order to accept this.

They say that people who's suffered from an eating disorder will always struggle and be more aware of the needs of the body. So I'm sure that next time I get through a really stressful time the food with be the first I try to control. But, being aware is the first step - and it helps.

I hope this was okay

[Echo]

Dee, I'm sorry you're struggling so much with getting treated. It shouldn't be that difficult. I ended up going with the first therapist, and psychiatrist, I ever saw, which turned out to be a bad choice. I need to look for other options too so I definitely relate with feeling fed up with people not being able to help. They're the people who are supposed to help after all.

Sceal, wishing you the best of luck in your recovery process. There's definitely way too many stereotypes of eating disorders out there and there's never going to be one typical case. It's surprising your doctor didn't know that. And it certainly shouldn't have taken that long for you to be taken seriously. I'm glad you had a friend in your life who could help you, too.