Is there anybody here with no family?

  • 7 Replies
  • 1038 Views
*

ah

  • Member
  • 526
    • View Profile
Is there anybody here with no family?
« on: October 27, 2017, 12:15:35 PM »
If you have no family or no place you belong at all, then I'd like to be yours. And I wanted to ask if you'd maybe like to consider joining me in making our own here...?

The familylessones. FLO? (now I'm just being silly, that's a pretty ridiculous name... ??? )

I've got no words to say how painful it can be to be so isolated and lonely. How hard it is to trust people after a lifetime of hurt, and to know how to find the good ones who can be trusted. And sometimes it's impossible. Circumstances and things beyond our control, making it undoable for the time being or at all.

But I can control my heart so if anyone here is like me, alone, through no fault of our own but really disliking it, then you're not anymore. You've got my back.
Just wanted to say so.

If you're alone, even if you don't say anything you're on my mind and you'll be on my mind every day from now on, it's just what I feel like doing. I care just because... well... because I do.

 



*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 3458
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2017, 03:21:21 PM »
My FOO has all passed, with the exception of a sibling I am NC with. I have my husband and sons but there are times I feel like an orphan. Those are the times that I wander down to the imaginary Healing Porch and take comfort in knowing I belong here. :)

*

sanmagic7

  • Member
  • 7085
  • learn something from everything
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2017, 02:16:49 AM »
i have very little blood-related family with whom i'm in contact, basically just my daughter.  my foc is right here, too.  sisters and brothers of the best kind.

*

woodsgnome

  • Member
  • 1830
  • I did not wish to live what was not life
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2017, 02:52:28 PM »
I left the area the FOO lived in and that was it as far as contact goes, with a few exceptions since. I was fine with that; the loneliness was welcome at first, as I had lots of unpacking of the mind to go through (still happening).

Even the word family can be triggering at certain times. Once a few years ago I did go on a visit to someone's family that required an overnight stay. I was petrified; just hearing things like footsteps in the hall or general scurrying about made me tense up. Finally my companion just said "What's...wrong...with...you?" I had no adequate explanation, really; though much later I tried telling a short version of why I felt trapped in the situation.

On the other hand, I did have some special friends for a while, who welcomed me into their family and who often reminded me that "you are loved, you know". Love was another word that didn't register with much warmth, but they kept at it. I'll have to swallow hard at this point, though--that family has all died tragically and I dearly miss that connection. They finally taught me that sometimes families are an okay thing.

This forum has helped me, too. Just knowing how others have dealt with these issues--their lows and highs--has filled some of the gap.

« Last Edit: October 28, 2017, 02:56:11 PM by woodsgnome »

*

LittleBird

  • Member
  • 176
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2017, 07:33:19 AM »
ah,

your post made me happy cry. Isolation is heartbreaking - making new family is a tonic for that pain. I'd be part of this family you're proposing. It's such a significant step to trust others and be available to help others too.

when I saw FLO, I thought: frequently left outside. Whether we are family-less or excluded in some other way, it's integral to to our health that we learn to trust and form new friendships again.

*

Blueberry

  • Member
  • 6775
  • 'Should' is never good for me.
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2017, 08:57:09 PM »
ah,

I'm recognising that I have a family in name only. I do have these blood relations, but it sounds as if they wish I weren't around, as if I'm a big inconvenience. It feels pretty painful. I don't have a partner or children. I used to say my pets were my children, but now I don't even have them anymore.

I do have friends, and I do have places I belong or can belong for a while or return to again and again like the farm I go to atm, but it's not quite like having a family where you just belong because you're you.

FLO = family-less ones; frequently left outside; frequently left out.   This latter one feels like mine - though it is getting better.

*

LittleBird

  • Member
  • 176
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2017, 09:08:22 PM »
Blueberry,

I'm sorry you've been treated this way. I hope you can find comfort chatting here. Is there anyone else nearby you can meet up with?

*

moonlightnanana

  • Member
  • 29
    • View Profile
Re: Is there anybody here with no family?
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2017, 04:31:34 PM »
Growing up, all my good friends were super close with their families.
God that was *... like some sort of cosmic joke. It was like the universe was reflecting my feelings of "see, look, you're unloveable, everyone else is happy but you. you don't deserve a family."

Even if I'm not emotionally close to my parents, there are tons of people out there in the world to meet  :grouphug:

You are definitely not alone!

When I feel alone, I like to watch Mr. Rogers videos :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlE8sfSVk2U