Panic at the store

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Sceal

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Panic at the store
« on: October 30, 2017, 06:01:45 PM »
My anxiety has been held mostly in check lately. Although, I recognize that has mostly to do with me sitting at home watching TV rather than interacting with the real world. ( I didn't used to be a TV-watcher).
but I've been growing restless for the last few days, so today I invited myself over to my friend's place for coffee. It was nice catching up.
After that I went to the store, one of the grocery stores I tend to use. I was shopping in the vegetable section when I noticed a girl fairly close to me. It took me just a split moment to recognize her. She's one of the board members in a cultish group I used to be with. And she's fairly close with the family to my last SAer. The repporting back about my whereabouts have happened alot the last year. It preys on my paranoia and my fear. I can't deal with this. I know I should practice some lines, or figure out what to say when I eventually do run into them and the encounter is inevitible. It just makes me dissociate or place me in anxiety everytime I try to think of something.
I don't think she saw me, if she had she'd had said hello and asked how it's going. She's a very nice girl, but the fact that she will rapport back that she met me at the store made me panic. I turned as quickly and quietly as I could and walked fast away from that section. Then I spent the next 10 minutes spying on her, trying to avoid her noticing me. People were giving me funny looks. Then I realized, I can't be here. I really can't be trapped in this store. What if I miss sight of her and suddenly she spots me. So I made my way to the exit, trying to act as normal as possible.
I nearly ran to the car, and I almost threw up. I was shaking and sweating, and heart racing and I just felt sick to my stomach.
I can't go back to that store now, and they tend to have good groceries that I need.  She doesn't even live close by. She lives far away! What was she doing in that store?

This suck!

Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2017, 12:53:19 AM »
Oh Sceal, I know how you feel, really. I did the exact same thing with one guy I knew... He worked at a store but I NEEDED something from that store, I was hiding behind boxes and furniture like I was in some kind of weird movie. Was really not a comfortable experience.
I hope this won't discourage you too much to do your grocery shopping, Sceal. Give yourself some time to just relax and calmly breathe, stay inside for a while if you have to. ^^

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Sceal

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2017, 03:31:32 AM »
I will attempt to brave myself to go back in tomorrow.

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Kizzie

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2017, 05:20:18 PM »
Maybe you could go back in little phases, like go and get one or two items and leave until you work back up to feeling (somewhat,  mostly?) OK going in there for more items?   

And if you can't do that yet or at all, maybe try and be as kind and compassionate to yourself as you can, and validate that it is big trigger having seen that person there for very real and traumatic reasons.

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Sceal

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2017, 05:51:40 PM »
Thank you Kizzie.
I went in and got a few things. I went at an early hour, with less chance of people visiting. It went alright.

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Kizzie

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2017, 05:53:58 PM »
 :cheer:  and  :applause:  and  :hug:

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Sceal

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2017, 05:56:50 PM »
 :cheer: :hug:

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sanmagic7

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2017, 01:37:46 AM »
so very glad to hear it went all right.  what a warrior you are, whether you know it or not.  warm hug full of love for you.

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Sceal

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Re: Panic at the store
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2017, 09:30:13 AM »
If there was a blush emote, I'd use it now! :D