Andyman's journal/story/whatever/collection of random thoughts out of the ether.

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Hope67

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Hi Andy,
I know you like the big warm hugs, so here are a few more for you:
 :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
 :hug: :hug:
Plus a couple of little hugs too. 
Hope  :)

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Andyman73

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i don't know if there's anything you can do, andy.  if you believe in prayer, that may help.  faith that all will work out may help.  other than that, i don't really know.  i will send some vibes of hope and faith for her and you to the universe.  also, love, of course.  always love.   :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
these are all filled with strength, hope, power of the universe, care, concern, resilience, comfort, and love love love.  hold on tight - we won't let go.

Hi San,
We heard from our friend since our last post. Found out what happen, why no call. Her friend, that she used phone last time, was on vacation for a month. And my friend couldn't remmber our phone #. Her friend only got back on Saturday.  We talk and cry for about an hour. Now that she got number from friend, she gonna try call at least once a week.
Said her vision has improved a tiny bit. But found out that she lost about 20 years of memory...mostly of her son's childhood. So...her sad about that.

Said that when in hospital, some of her littles had fronted and they were terrified and were acting out. When try make her take shower..water spray her face, triggering her badly and she run away. made our hearts hurt so much for them. Also littles had said stuff, cuz she got asked questions then, later about who or what was said. And she told them that she don't know....playing dumb. Cuz she not want to get into all that.

We told her how much we still love her. Asked if littles thought we abandoned them...was hard to say cuz made us cry to say. She says no...they understand that we didn't go. Again reminded them that we love them all so so very much.

Said something sorta funny. Now that she cant see well enough to run finances and stuff. Her not nice husband finding out very very quickly that all the stuff she did with money somehow made everything work and bills paid on time. He was so surprised that now he can't make it work. Always told her she dumb and stuff. So he ask her if money was always like that. Hers said back.."yeah, been telling you forever that you can't keep speinding money like you want and expect me to get bills paid. See..he would call bank to order stop check after she sent off bill payment. And other dumb stuff like that. So, at least for now he not blaming her for the money issues no more. Felt a little good to hear that.

Asked her if we was still okay. Said we stay for as long as she want if she want.  Told us "yes please" So...we so so happy hear that. made us cry more. But good tears.

But now we waiting agian for next call. Wont be so hard...unless goes too long. So for now..we happy. Not know what future gonna be, or how it gonna be...no matter..we be happy as pigs in mud just to have her in our lives.

 :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: Thank you so so much San!!!

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Andyman73

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Hi Andy,
I know you like the big warm hugs, so here are a few more for you:
 :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
 :hug: :hug:
Plus a couple of little hugs too. 
Hope  :)
Awwwwwww, so sweet of you Hope!
 :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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sanmagic7

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i'm just glad everyone's ok, there's a no. now at which she can reach you, and that everyone is all good.  that's the best news.  love and hugs, andy and everyone else who may be around.

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Andyman73

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i'm just glad everyone's ok, there's a no. now at which she can reach you, and that everyone is all good.  that's the best news.  love and hugs, andy and everyone else who may be around.
Thank you so much san. I really really appreciate that. She called me again, which was a lovely surprise. We had a really nice chat. However it seems what plans we were making are gonna have to be pushed back a year or two.  :'( She's worth it though.
We like hugs! Thank you again.  :hug: :hug: :hug:

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Hope67

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Hi Andy,
Glad to see that your friend called you again - and that you had a really nice chat.  Just sending you a hug  :hug: - and wishing you a great weekend.
Hope  :)

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Andyman73

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Hi Hope,
Thanks. Still, I worry for her.  Thank you so much for checking on me. I really appreciate that.  :hug:

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Hope67

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Hi Andy,
 :bighug: :waveline:
I hope you're ok.
Hope  :)

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Andyman73

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Hi Hope!!!
 :bighug:

I'm okay. Things been real hard. My last Grandma is dying...she has end stage liver disease AND cancer of liver, or on her liver...among several other health issues. Been about 3-4 weeks now. There are no treatment options for her, as she is too weak and any of them would actually push her to her grave faster than her illnesses already are. At that time they gave her 2 months....and we're nearly out of the first month. So....she most likely won't make October.

And as for myself....everyday is a struggle...just to survive it all. BUT!!!!!! But got good news!!! Am now back in near daily contact with my special friend!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I sure hope you doing okay, too :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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Andyman73

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Just remembered somethig I wanted to share...

The other day I was speaking with my dad, whilst my mom was away...not sure how we got to it, but he told me that my mom was taking sedatives, back in the mid-late 70s...when I was little. I didn't say anything, but he said that those years were super super hard on her.


TRIGGER WARNING!!!








This confirmed for me a memory I have I her drugging me so I would sleep with out screaming nightmares. I remember her forcing it in me....supository....I was about 3. Also remember being completely naked too. This was an adult sized sedative...too big for little andy to swallow. I remember it hurt too. Then things got fuzzy and was no more. I think maybe I slept for a day or two. Or three. Seems a big blank for a while. That would have been an overdose for sure!!! Thanks mommy.  :'( ??? :'(

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BeHea1thy

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Andyman,

I am so, so sorry;  this must be extremely painful and sickening. I'm glad you survived, and are working on bringing it all up. Any conversation which sheds light on the previously inaccessible past is an eventual pathway to healing. 

 :hug:

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Andyman73

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Thank you so much BeHea1thy.  :hug: :hug: :hug:
Yeah...eventual healing is my goal. Even just getting out of it alive works too!  :bigwink:
 :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

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Hope67

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eventual healing is my goal. 

   :hug: to you Andy, and hope you are ok.   
Hope  :)

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Andyman73

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eventual healing is my goal. 

   :hug: to you Andy, and hope you are ok.   
Hope  :)
Hi Hope  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I'm doing okay. My grandma was ill and dying, she passed on Tuesday the 28th of August. So, I've  been preoccupied with that. Also dealing with some new issues, too. Been a bit intense lately. Thank you so much for checking up on me.
 :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

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sanmagic7

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 :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: