So many things feel triggering...

[barbidoll]

So this morning we were about to head out the door to get my older son to school and he has a diarhea accident. So I call the school to let them know and it is suggested that I watch him and bring him later. So  he has still been going this morning and I feel trapped.  I feel like I HAVE to get my son to school and at the same time am wondering should I even be taking him when he just went again 20 minutes ago. He doesn't have a fever but he has been having this issue for a few months. He has a yearly checkup coming up where I plan on talking to his doctor about it. The thing is I am terrified either way.  What if I take him and he has an accident at school? What if I don't take them and the school sees me as a bad mom? I already think they don't view me too well because of my son's mental health and my son repeating stuff about me not being good with money his father has told to  to the school counselor.  I am literally sitting here in fear at this moment because I feel scared either way. Or what if I get him part of the way and he has another accident?
  Last night I found myself getting annoyed and angry with my son's friend's father. Also was really uncomfortable when he brought giving out liquor bottles for Halloween to kids for their parents. I was annoyed when he seemed to be taking charge and I actually have a system for trick or treating. Angry when he decided we are done and I was not nearly done and then when he actually told his kid, "I thought everyone else was ready to go" I was pissed that he twisted reality like that. I did not completely lose it but  think I was overreacting possibly. I  good at holding in anger though so even though I was mad I kept it to myself. I mean I guess he was looking out for his kid even though I was really scratching my head over him not feeding the kid before trick or treating and him saying his 9-10 year old goes to bed at 7:30, especially when expressed exasperation that his son wakes up at 4:30. That kind of happens when a kid goes to bed too early. This guy really rubbed me the wrong way. I felt uncomfortable the whole time and I was really tempted to let him find his way back to my apartments where his car was parked and continue on with my kids.  I am probably not explaining this well but this guy set off all kinds danger signals to my brain.
  Yesterday the bus aide for my youngest son asked if she could buy stuff for him and she said, "I don't want to hurt your feelings." I immediately start thinking what did that mean and today I felt really uncomfortable and on guard with her.   What was she trying to say?
  Even sometimes posting stuff on the internet triggers me thinking I did something wrong, even on here. 
   

[Blueberry]

Just want to say I can relate to not being able to choose one way or the other, usually when I think it really should be an easy decision, but I can't make it. I think it's an EF. In my case anyway. 

[barbidoll]

Blueberry,
  I have had so many of these in the last couple of years. I almost feel like chicken little because it feels like i I make the wrong one disaster can happen.  I am not sure if it's an EF but I feel so trapped in them.
  A year ago it was suggested to me to apply for disability for my daughter. I still haven't done it because of what if.