Emotional instability

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Annarae12

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Emotional instability
« on: November 01, 2017, 05:39:27 PM »
I am very curious if anyone else has this problem. I have a huge problem with emotions, particularly love. When i love someone its a very unstable and inconsistant emotion. One day i will feel so in love with that person and then the next day i might not feel anything for that person almost numb to them and this goes back and forth randomly. Is this apart of cptsd? Im really struggling with this issue.

Re: Emotional instability
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2017, 10:17:00 PM »
I am very curious if anyone else has this problem. I have a huge problem with emotions, particularly love. When i love someone its a very unstable and inconsistant emotion. One day i will feel so in love with that person and then the next day i might not feel anything for that person almost numb to them and this goes back and forth randomly. Is this apart of cptsd? Im really struggling with this issue.

I feel VERY much the same way, Annarae. I can't figure out why it happens but yeah. It's this flipping back and forth of how you feel, of people and things, of yourself. I even turn on my best friends at a few points in time but I always swing back to feeling more compassionate and loving.

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rbswan

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Re: Emotional instability
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2017, 10:59:40 PM »
Yes, I have that issue as well, though it's improved some.  I have heard it called "splitting" or "black and white thinking".  What ever it is I have had this issue since I can remember.  To the best of my knowledge, I think that this was grooved into my brain from the 1000s of times I had a bit of hope that my M and F showed the littlest bit of attention or acceptance to me as a child.  I usually felt fear and shame most of the time with very short, very few periods of acceptance, attention or kindness.  Everything in my childhood seemed either all bad or all good.  But mostly bad.

My defense against the bad feelings is typically numbing out or the mental "fight" response.  I developed this with other people, subconsciously,  to keep myself from feeling the intensity of abandonment rupture or shame by disliking them or being emotionally numb in anticipation of rejection.  Often I would either feel strong love or ambivalence and it could change from day to day.  This type of thinking is present in other aspects of my life as well.  I get interested in things intently and then lose all interest.  I have been able to reduce this some and "re-grove" my thinking, but it continues to be a long, hard process.  I started intensely grieving (crying, verbal ventilation, fully emoting and angering) in the safety of group therapy and it has reduced the amount and intensity of my splitting.  I also read and re-read Pete Walkers books which go into more detail on this and give a good roadmap for the grieving process.

I know how painful it can be going back and forth with strong emotions.  I'm so sorry for your pain.  I was in a long relationship with someone where we both had this type of thinking and it was so painful for both of us.  I wish I had a forum or was in therapy at the time as it was the lowest point of my life.  Years later I have some healing reflection but also a lot of sadness over it.  Luckily, we both found a path though we parted ways long ago.  I truly feel that this type of thinking and feeling can be managed and is an injury from my trauma and not my DNA or "just how I am".  I guess I'm saying there is hope, and I stand with you.  Wishing you serenity.   :hug:

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Annarae12

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Re: Emotional instability
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2017, 03:30:28 AM »
Thank you both for replying! I am so sorry you have this problem too but it gives me relief knowing its not just me and im not just like a defected when it comes to emotions. Both of your replies meant so much to me and made me feel better. Thank you  :hug: