Bad psychiatrists

[BlancaLap]

Hi, I recently had a meeting with a really bad psychiatrist and I wanna know if you guys have ever had a bad psychiatrist. So, the thing is I was really freaked out, because I usually use grounding techniques to set me free of my dissociation, but I had a strong argument with my parents and I started feeling that I couldn't set me free anymore, and I was afraid that I would be stuck like this the rest of my life (I still can't do it). So, this was the first time that I saw this psychiatrist and it turned out he was a friend of my dad but I didn't know it yet... so I came to his office, and talked to him, and he looked really calm, and I told him that I have been having trouble with my parents and that I didn't want to live with them anymore but I hadn't money and I needed their money to go to college and I didn't know what to do... so... when I finished he told me that he wanted to talk to my parents and I said: "I would rather go out", and he yelled at me and said: "NO!", and I was like: what the *? D: . So my parents entered the room and I was like: "sorry if I said something that had bothered you" and he said: "SIT DOWN" and I was like: "No, why would I sit down? I don't want to be in this room anymore. I'm an adult now, you can't give me orders? Who the * do you think you are?" So I started walking to the door and they litterally pushed me so I wouldn't leave. And at that moment the psychiatrist strated to talk about me to my parents and he didn't even look at me, like I wasn't there and I was like: "hellooo, I'm here..." so I couldn't take it anymore and I started crying and I looked at everyone in the room and everyone was looking at me with a pocker face like they didn't really care. So I get really angry at the psychiatrist because I was really afraid I would be dissocciated all my life and the least thing I needed was someone to treat me like he was treating me. So I yelled at him, and started saying that my parents, especially my father, had done horrible things to me and to my two older brothers and he was like: "yeah, sure..." and that bothered me a lot, because he seemed like he didn't believe me. So when I finished he started to talk again to my parents like I wasn't there and said: "well, the best thing to do is to get her and lock her in the hospital" (internar en el hospital). So I get really sad and mad and angry and I yelled: "this is traumatic" and the psychiatrist shouted: "No it isn't". And when we leaved he stopped to shake my hands like nothing of that happened and I was like: "dude, you need medication more than me". Still I haven't figured out what did I just say that made him so angry, but I gotta say he reminded me of my father a lot, and my father has serious mental health issues...
He wasn't the only bad psychiatrist that I have met. There was one woman who used to tell me to "forget" what happened to me, that I should reppress that memories and try not to think about them and I was like: "seriously, I have read a lot of books about trauma, ptsd... and all of them say that that's the least thing you should do..."
So yeah, pretty long story I know. Thank you for reading till the end and let me know what you think about it and this "bad psychiatrists".

[Blueberry]

Oh no,  I'm so sorry BlancaLap! 

Among other things that sounds completely unprofessional of the psychiatrist. Also he isn't allowed to disclose information to your parents (or anybody else) about you without your permission. If he told your parents when your appointment was with him, then obviously he disclosed that. Unless you're under 18 years of age, then the rules might be different. But still I don't like his underhanded way of dealing with the situation, by confronting you suddenly with your parents. It puts you at an weaker position than everybody else's. That is not fair.

They can't lock you up in a hospital unless there are real grounds for this, e.g. you're threatening suicide with intent or you are so dissociated that you've lost contact with the real world (which happened to me once).

I've been yelled at a few times by mental health professionals, usually when they pushed me to breaking point and then were overwhelmed themselves by my response. I felt like saying in retrospect "Guys, I told you I have C-PTSD and that you shouldn't provoke me because of triggers!" So anyway I know how being yelled at feels. Not good.

[BlancaLap]

So sorry to hear that. I was 18 when that happened (now I'm 19). Yeah, I was like: "dude, if I'm dissociating it's because people have trated me like *, so don't do the same thing again". Speaking of him, after the meeting I found him in a web-site about doctors: it's called "Más que médicos" or "More than doctors" in which you can give "stars" to the doctors so I put a bad review, just to find out days later that he had called his friends to put good reviews... I feel... like I don't have a voice... I just want him to know that what he did was wrong and recieve an apology, but it feels like when I try to communicate with him he doesn't wanna hear... here is the web-site (it's in spanish): https://www.google.es/amp/s/masquemedicos.com/psiquiatra_vitoria-gasteiz/jesus-maria-etxebeste-anton/%3famp=1

[ah]

Yikes! How unethical. Might have been a "favor" for his friend, maybe he thought he was doing the right thing but that doesn't excuse his behavior for a second.

My experience with psychiatrists and my father has left me cautious. When I was a teenager my father did everything he could to get me committed in hospital against my will to silence me. He probably told psychiatrists I was out of control because they often treated me the way you were treated by this doctor. I had to meet quite a few psychiatrists, they were all told I was crazy and I had to protect myself. I learned to be very calm and friendly, chat to them nicely about whatever they seemed interested in so they'd say "we had such a lovely chat, what a nice kid!..." and forget their original agenda.

Granted you asked this doctor for help which makes it worse but still, my experience taught me it's often best to stay away from bad psychiatrists. When I tried standing up to them they said I had uncontrollable anger issues and went on the attack. I learned to smile a big smile and walk away from them. They can be dangerous.

I'm sure there are good therapists and psychiatrists out there. The bad ones convinced me not to go looking for the good ones but I hope when you can you'll find your own safe, kind therapists and psychiatrists who really do have your best interests at heart.

[Sceal]

Are there no medical supivsor in your country that you can send a formal complaint to?
If that happened to a patient here and a complaint was made, the psychiatrist would be under investigation.
I prefer psychologists though, they don't tend to push pills on me.

[sanmagic7]

querida blanca,

i lived in mexico for 16 yrs., had a bad experience with 2 psychiatrists there.  i was misdiagnosed by the first, then treated like she knew it all (the second) even when i began complaining about terrible side effects from the meds.  i quit her and the meds as soon as i could.

i've also had bad experiences with therapists both in mexico and the states.  i filed a formal complaint against the one in the states.  also, extremely unprofessional and unethical behavior.  what your psych. did is definitely wrong - there is no excuse for that kind of behavior, no excuse for treating you like a child (i read what you wrote about him), and no excuse for his lack of ethics where your parents are concerned.

lock you up in a hospital?  wrong.  what a horrible, manipulative threat that was - i believe it was used to try to control you so you'd do what he wanted you to do.  i hope you never have to see him again, hope you can file a complaint against him someday (it took me 8 yrs. to get stable enough before i could do it, so i know it might take time.).

i'm so very sorry you had this awful experience.   there are worthy therapists and responsible psychiatrists out there.  sometimes it takes a period of searching to find one who fits well with you.  in my opinion, this one does not at all.  sending you a hug (if you want it) filled with care and concern.

[BlancaLap]

Thanks and sorry to hear that. I'm from Spain but I believe there are also ways here of complaining (I don't know), I'll check. Anyway, thanks for your replies!

[Kizzie]

Welcome to OOTS Blanca, so sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.   

Here is a resource that may be helpful:

"Is There Something Wrong or Questionable in Your Treatment?" by Dr. Estelle Disch.

This article is one of many resources at a site called the Therapy Exploitation Link Line (TELL) for those who have been harmed in a therapeutic relationship in the US and Austraia.  It may be that this organization can help you locate a similar organization in your country I don't know, but it's a place to start.  It may also help to validate that you have every right  to report/lodge a complaint against this person.

[BlancaLap]

Thanks!

[Fen Starshimmer]

What disgusting unethical behaviour from a so-called psychiatrist towards a traumatised person. Intimidating at best, traumatic at worst.

Sorry you had to experience this. I hope you will be able to vet psychiatrists and therapists more thoroughly in future. I know it's not easy, and often it's a case of meet them first to find out what kind of people they are and whether they are actually properly qualified to treat people with C-PTSD. I think lodging a complaint against this person would be validating.

[sanmagic7]

that's too bad, really.  i'm just glad you made it out and hopefully never have to see him again.  you can still file a complaint.   even without tangible proof, the complaint would, i believe, be registered, and be noted in case there are other complaints recorded.   it all starts with one.  best to you and a big hug.

[BlancaLap]

Thank you and I really hope I don't have to live that again. I still kinda want an apology from him, but if he really is like my dad, I'm 100% sure that will never happen. I'm gonna fill a complain the next week maybe, but I'm quite lost. And I don't want my parents to know it but I have a feeling they will know one day... I'm gonna try it anyway. Again, thanks for you replies!

[Fen Starshimmer]

BlancaLap, two lawyers for parents, that's a tough one. No one should assume lawyers cannot be abusive. I come from a family of lawyers and was abused. I couldn't understand why I never got justice, why my views and feelings were ignored, when I had done nothing wrong. (I was the scapegoat, I later discovered.) It really messed up my beliefs about myself. Evidence is what wins cases IMO. Hearsay means little, you could have made it up. And if they label you as mentally ill, they could use that against you - so more of a reason to keep notes of dates, times, and record what you can. All the best to you, good luck! Just had another thought.... wouldn't it be easier to leave home? You said you're 19, so you are free to move away, if you can find somewhere suitable, somewhere safe and supportive ideally. 

[Blueberry]

BlancaLap, two lawyers for parents, that's a tough one. No one should assume lawyers cannot be abusive. I come from a family of lawyers and was abused. I couldn't understand why I never got justice, why my views and feelings were ignored, when I had done nothing wrong. (I was the scapegoat, I later discovered.) It really messed up my beliefs about myself.

I could have written this too, except that M and F aren't lawyers. They have some other highly professional qualifications, which they used to keep me small, under their thumb, basically down-trodden and with a very low opinion of myself. Their opinion of themselves is that nobody with their (intellectual) intelligence and education level could ever be abusive. In fact they used their intellectual reasoning powers to slam down anything I tried to point out to them while growing up. I'm only now really realising emotionally and not just cognitively that this was an additional form of abuse and that there never was anything I could say to make them understand. They didn't want to and they still don't! I used to call what they were doing "intellectual abuse", just to myself of course.

I'm sorry you both have suffered similar.

[BlancaLap]

Sorry to hear your responses. They have already labelled me as "mentally ill" and yes, they use it against me, and yes, they are both very intelligent and sometimes it looks like they think they are more because of that. My two brothers and I are also quite intelligent, I mean, we are good at english, math... but we are all really stupid with the emotional part.
I wish I could just let home but I have nowhere to go... sometimes it is difficult to move somwhere else. I mean, I could go to my aunt's house or uncle's home, but I don't want to leave a home with emotionally poor people to move to another house with another emotionally poor people.
And sorry for the bad word, I didn't know you censor that things...