Trying to leave my abuser

[Andyman73]

He is doing all these things to try to get you to come back. He's hoping you'll do as you have done before...cave to his demands and he'll pick up abusing you as if you had only been gone on an overnighter to your sons's house. 

Probably would do you wonders to limit his contact by 95% or more.  If you haven't yet, speak to counselors at your local DV shelter.  Also, may want to consider divorce. That may end up being the only way to get untangled from him with things like the house and such with both your names on it. 

I will be facing all these things in the coming year, as well.

You are so incredibly awesome!!! I am so proud of you!!! 

[mar74]

Thank you Andyman!  I appreciate that! I will be cheering for you as well! If I can do it, anyone can! You have no idea how scared I've been!

[sanmagic7]

mar, you may be scared, but you've showed so much courage thru all this.   

when you're used to a life of chaos, humiliation, put-downs, trauma, and abuse, it can surely be difficult to simply stop it.  that is definitely scary, because it's unknown.  i might guess that you continue to text him in order to continue to have some sort of abuse in your life.

that's not crazy by any means.  you've physically cut yourself off from your abuser, but it can be even more difficult to mentally or emotionally cut yourself off.  as you keep living a life that's positive for you (and i think putting that text on the wall as a reminder is a really good idea), you'll eventually be able to see and think more clearly what you really have now as compared to what you had with him.

i also think that eventually, you'll come to like it more without him in your life.   you have the support of everyone here with this,  step by step, i have no doubt you'll be able to have an abuse-free life, one that will give you relief and peace.  big hug to you filled with caring and determination.     

[mar74]

Thank you sanmagic!! Your words made me feel a lot better! I'm so glad to have this group!

[Andyman73]

Thank you Andyman!  I appreciate that! I will be cheering for you as well! If I can do it, anyone can! You have no idea how scared I've been!

Your welcome! Thank you. I been battling severe anxiety over the whole idea of leaving my future axw(abusive ex-wife). I know I can do it, but the anxiety and fear are tremendous, nonetheless.