Hi mar,
I totally agree too.
Till a year or two ago, I'd have sent such a letter and tried to explain myself, ask for understanding, beg for kindness. But I think now I wouldn't, because I guess it begs the question:
If there's a person in your life who isn't getting it, are they essentially a kind, empathic individual who could be better educated on trauma, or are they uncaring?
If they're uncaring, the sad truth is such people will often use personal information we share with them as ammunition to hurt us even further. Sharing with them won't improve things, sharing less may be wise.
James,
What you wrote about closure being a lonely private act... I memorized that so I can remind myself whenever I forget. Thanks so much, you're absolutely right.
etymon,
Re. narcissists / c-ptsd fight type, I think they can seem similar from the outside when they're angry, but they're very different.
An angry person with c-ptsd would feel shame, guilt, regret, low self esteem, the lot. But a narcissist could lash out not to defend themselves but just to attack because it's fun - without shame or regret, without empathy, with amazingly high self confidence. Altogether just the opposite of someone with c-ptsd.
If a person is hurt, that's no excuse for abuse.
A person with c-ptsd who's hurting will go to therapy, self educate and work on themselves forever to find ways to improve. But a narcissist won't.
Seeing the difference between narcissists and normal hurt people can save lives. Narcissists thrive on society not knowing the difference, but there is a huge difference.
Just my two cents.
